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The T.A. Report

Buhari to critics: London and Nigeria are one, I am not on foreign medical trip ― ‘per se’

Buhari to critics: London and Nigeria are one, I am not on foreign medical trip ― ‘per se’

LONDON (The T.A. Report) — President Muhammadu Buhari, through a statement released on Thursday by his senior spokesman, Garba Shehu, has denied claims that he is on an ongoing foreign medical trip in London.

These allegations are quite misleading, he said, because they make it seem as though the United Kingdom has no strong political and historical ties with Nigeria.

“I have chosen London out of many other countries because we are one and the same,” Buhari said.  “So it is wrong to say I am on a foreign medical trip. I am not per se. This is because we are all part of the same commonwealth, sharing a common history and similar traditions.”

“I could have easily picked some other country,” he added. “West Germany maybe. Or Luxembourg which has the best healthcare facilities in the world. But no, I chose London. It is not even ranked among the top 16 in the world.”

The statement continued: “Nigerians should understand that the President is not blind to their plights or deaf to their complaints. He knows hospital staffs are on strike across the nation, and this is exactly why he travelled at this time to replicate global standards and practices here at home.

“He is not just receiving treatment in London. He is also receiving training and enlightenment on how to reform the health sector in Nigeria. In short, all this is just to get him prepared to make radical changes during his guaranteed second term.

“Moreover, to show his commitment to Nigeria’s economic growth and general welfare, he has been paying his UK doctor in naira and not pounds or dollars. Though his trips are for the good of the nation, as a staunch people advocate, the president does not believe they must be at the detriment of our foreign reserves.”



Caveat: Note that this piece is a fictional satire aimed purely at humour. The words above are nothing but products of a drunk writer’s imagination. We hereby refuse to accept responsibility for the results of anyone’s credulity or mischief. Do not take us serious. We repeat; do not take us serious! … But, on second thought, maybe you should do just that.

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I am Tubosun, the first son of Ajanaku; and my forte lies in casting light upon the bottomless pits of societal ills through the pastiche of news and satire.

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