Guest writer, Author at Punocracy

It will be recalled that the state’s youth had earlier made a call to the Kano government to create a safe space for covidiots in Nigeria. They even went on to make online protests through videos where they washed their hands into bowls and drank the water to show their allegiance to covidiocy. The state government, as one that listens to its people and makes sure to satisfy their needs in every way and manner, finally decided to grant this special request.

From Our Allies

Dear single ladies | Bibian Chinenye Pius-Urum

April 29, 2020April 29, 2020

by Guest writer

If you’re visiting a place, do not stay in a hotel. Look for anybody there, preferably a fellow girl, that you can stay in her house. Don’t spend your money in such immoral places. Do you even know what the bed you want to sleep on was used for?

From Our Allies

Bring Back Our Mondays (#BBOM)!

April 22, 2020April 22, 2020

by Guest writer

Gradually, we have lost our sense of days. Today, like yesterday, is another Saturday. We shall eat rice, surf the Internet, talk with a few friends, and sleep like we did in previous Saturdays. The regular Saturday aura isn’t even appropriate anymore to describe our mood these days. We will just continue to live and pay no attention to the calendar on the wall.

From Our Allies

How to get the Kogi COVID-19 app

April 22, 2020April 22, 2020

by Guest writer

A few days ago, Gov. Yahaya Bello told us of his incredible effort and first-of-its-kind approach to ensure the people of Kogi are marked safe from COVID-19. The most interesting thing in that interview with Channels television was the announcement of a software application that will help Kogi people monitor their COVID-19 status by themselves. This is highly commendable.

I Cum in Peace

Sinzu Money finally writes to Imam of Pieces

April 21, 2020April 21, 2020

by Guest writer

My name is Sinzu Money as you have rightfully guessed and I’m the president of the rotten giant of Africa. Google that, beesh! For weeks now, since the break out of COVIK-1-9, you’ve turned me, my able office and country into a Twitter punching bag, hitting us from both sides. I don’t know if it was boredom or, as my wife has said, it was the hole in your brain.

From Our Allies

How to sell Nigeria

April 18, 2020April 18, 2020

by Guest writer

You’ve probably thought about how to sell this country a couple of times. Well, you’re not alone. Rest assured that thousands of other people have been waiting for advice on how to go about this transaction.

From Our Allies Lamentations of an Egbere

Two thousand and twenty proverbs for a governor’s son

April 17, 2020April 23, 2020

by Guest writer

An alagba once admonished that “the masquerade that tries too hard to usurp his master by showing off his dance steps on the express shall be jammed by a Dangote trailer.” Our people say that “it is the desires of every father to have his son better him in life and accomplishments”. Without any iota of doubt, the governor wants his son to be better than he could ever be.

From Our Allies

Nigeria Airways of blessed memory

April 16, 2020April 16, 2020

by Guest writer

The causes of his death are still very much prevalent, but in a more toxic form, yet, they were planning to resurrect him again. They said Nigeria Airways will fly by December 2019. I guess they’ve used it’s wings as collateral for one of those loans they intend to collect. Or they’re not aware it’s already 2020. Iranu yii sha!

From Our Allies Lamentations of an Egbere

A tale of two presidents and two celebrities

April 16, 2020April 23, 2020

by Guest writer

If my tale conveys little or no sense to you, please pardon and bear with me. It is the sign of the end times that we live in — dubbed the 5G and COVID-19 age. Nothing is making sense again as common sense has contracted the coronavirus pandemic in Nigeria from a Chinese contractor, upon reporting at the facility that treats the disease, he was sent home for lack of bed space.

From Our Allies

All hail Nigeria’s new saviour, Boss Mustapha, who has risen from the dead

April 13, 2020April 13, 2020

by Guest writer

Boss Mustapha was blind to the state of the nation’s health system but now he can see. He was dead, but now has arisen. All hail the man, the saviour who at this crucial time has arrived to deliver us from a long-lasting disease, plagued by corruption and bad leadership, insensitivity and negligence.