These are the verses for the Puppy called Hush.
1. In the beginning, God created the dogs.
2. And a certain dog was without sleep, and horny, and his wife was on the face of the bed. And the spirit of knacking moved certain liquids to leave the dog and enter his wife.
3. And God said, let there be babies; and little puppies sprung forth.
4. And God saw one of the puppies, that he was good, and God marked him for big juicy bones.
5. And God called the puppy Hush, and the rest he abandoned for they were sleeping when Hush was working. For when it was evening in his land, Hush would go to a strange land to source big juicy bones. The evening was the morning and the morning was the evening for Hush.
6. And God said, let there be a mist when other dogs and puppies try to understand Hush’s sources of big juicy bones.
7. And God made a mist. And it was so that other dogs and puppies saw the juicy bones Hush munched on but not the dogs he maimed and killed to get his bones.
8. And God commanded Hush: “When other dogs and puppies ask for the source of your bones, tell them it is I who give you the bones.” So when others asked, the puppy would reply, “Na God o!”
9. And God called those who tried to discover Hush’s sources beefers and haters and cursed them to poverty.
10. And so Hush grew fat in his land. All the female puppies allowed him to sniff at their rear holes whenever he desired. The male puppy licked his rear hole just for a taste of his juicy bones.
11. Across the divide, other dogs were losing limbs and begged for help from the alpha wolves.
12. And Hush went against his God and began to worship his bones. He made a pile of bones so big the alpha wolves could sniff from a mile away.
13. And so God turned his back on the puppy called Hush and the mist was lifted.
14. All the male puppies that had sniffed Hush’s rear holes denounced him and mocked him by day. By night, they prayed to God for mist as they were in search of dogs to maim and kill.
15. And the female puppies that had allowed Hush sniff their rear holes washed themselves and move on to the other male puppies that were doing the work of God by night.
16. And the rest of the acts of Hush, and all that happened thereafter, and his might when he fought against the alpha wolves, are they not written in the book of the chronicles of Hush?
This piece was originally published by L’AVIS Magazine on June 22, 2020
Lmao … this so witty and sarcastic