11 December 2017

Activities have once again resumed at the Kunle Adepeju Building, popularly known as SUB (Students’ Union Building), as a new set of executives can be seen moving about and working assiduously inside the various offices. This came as a surprise to many students of the University who have lost hope in the restoration of the Students’ Union anytime soon. The T.A. Report, however, gathered that the new officials are members of the newly inaugurated Transition/Caretaker Committee, saddled with the task of housekeeping pending the return to the previous state of affairs.

Speaking with our reporter, the Chairman of the Committee, Mr Arachnid Araneae, fondly known as Spider, has said his Committee is ready for the daunting task ahead of them and will ensure stability till the suspension is finally lifted.

“The management has taken the right step by granting us permission to occupy the seat of power for students on this campus. For too long, the Kunle Adepeju Building has been desecrated by silence and inactivity. The fact that Kunle Adepeju was a martyr is no excuse for us to also murder the building, which bears his name. We have not only sent it to the grave, we have in fact made it a graveyard in itself,” he said, sitting behind a swivel chair that only recently graced the posterior of Ojo Aderemi.

“We understand that waiting for the reinstatement of the Union may be like waiting for Godot; however, my Committee members and I are ready for action. We are prepared to maintain the Union Building, safely keep the documents, and keep activities on-going for as long as is necessary,” he added confidently.

When asked who the other members of the committee are, Mr Arachnid mentioned Messrs Rattus Rattus (Black Rat), Bedbug, and Gecko as the General Secretary, Public Relations Officer, and Treasurer respectively.

Charles, one of the vendors whose shops are situated inside the building, expressed delight at the new development. “It feels good to finally have company in this place. At least, now we hear conversations and footsteps unlike before when it was total silence. Kudos to the school management,” he enthused.

It will be recalled that following a peaceful demonstration earlier this year, the University Senate had suspended all activities of the Students’ Union on 30th of May 2017. The Vice Chancellor, Professor Idowu Olayinka, has since been sighted on Facebook justifying the Union’s suspension and giving hope of its ultimate return.

 


Caveat: This piece is a fictional satire aimed purely at humour. The words above are nothing but products of a drunk writer’s imagination. We hereby refuse to accept responsibility for the results of any person’s credulity or mischief. Please, do not take us serious. Yet again, maybe you should do just that.