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Aja, The Whirlwind

US Forces rescue ONE American hostage, Nigerian Military leaves WhatsApp group

US Forces rescue ONE American hostage, Nigerian Military leaves WhatsApp group

The Nigerian Armed Forces under the leadership of General Abayomi Olonisakin has recently left the classified WhatsApp group of World Armed Forces (WAF) over the actions of the United State’s SEAL Team Six launching an operation to rescue only one citizen in Northern Nigeria.

The general, while addressing Pressmen on Sunday, described the SEAL Team Six operation as sheer wastage of US tax payers’ resources and has since called on the armed forces of other countries to equally condemn their action.

He also accused the US President Donald Trump of taking his showmanship too far by using the PENTAGON to sanction the operation as a strategy for vote-buying by tricking Americans into believing that he prioritizes  their safety.

He fumed: “I mean, this is uncalled for, it is very petty and it’s unnecessarily making us look very bad.”

“How will you deploy such humongous resources to rescuing just one citizen? I mean, one single person and a farmer for that matter. That’s a waste of hard-earned taxpayers’ money. You see, this is not the first time that the US will be doing this and we’ve had enough, someone has to call them to order and to express our current displeasure, the Nigerian Military has left the classified WhatsApp group of World Armed Forces (WAF). Bad company, our elders say, corrupts good manners.

“I mean, the same resources committed to this wasteful endeavor would have been put to better use in the hands of Nigerian Military in a number of our various campaigns for Nigeria’s security and unity. For instance, the same amount of resources was what we deployed to Lekki Toll Gate to recover that important national landmark from hundreds of dangerous flag-waving-hoodlums who had laid siege to the place for more than a week.

“Another way we could use it by deploying more personnel to our cyber-warfare unit where they’ll help us fight fake news on Twitter by posting screenshots of damaging news report from lamestream media and watermarking them with ‘fake news’,” he said.

Olonisakin added that it was not new and out of place for “stupid” citizens to put themselves in such ridiculous situation like the US citizen that allowed himself to be kidnapped by bandits in another man’s country.

“Trust me, it is not new. But, while to put themselves in such situation is for the citizens, to refuse to rescue them is soldierly. See, let me tell you a classified secret, we receive such calls almost every day but guess what? We don’t care!” he said while laughing hysterically, retrieving what looks like crisp from his big pocket and stuffing them in his mouth in an Elsa-Majimbo-inspired style.

“If we have to mobilise resources every time a Nigerian is kidnapped in India or being unjustly punished in South Africa, tell me, how many military personnel would remain to protect Nigerian VVIPS?” he asked rhetorically.

“How many will protect national landmarks from  hoodlums masquerading as ‘peaceful protesting children’? How many will remain to be invited by state governors to help them implement curfews? How many will guard hoarded palliatives? Or when the palliatives are being looted, how many will supervise it? How many?”

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I am Aja, the Whirlwind. I am just living to do some good—and some bad too, if necessary. I'm an average Nigerian daemon. I exist between truth and falsehood and as far as my existence is concerned, I am a benevolent truth dictator,

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