From Our Allies

I bet you won’t impeach me if I start a war! 

It’s the funniest thing ever when anyone says, Donald Trump is the dumbest US President in recent times. I can’t begin to imagine why anyone would think of something so untrue. One minute Nancy Pelosi and her squad at the Congress are trying to kick Mr Trump out of the White House, the next minute the United States is conducting airstrikes in Iraqi airspace killing one of Iran’s most senior army officials, Quassim Solammin.

Cartoon of a scene from the Biafran war © Tayo Fatunla
From Our Allies

There is a war coming, but not to worry… 

There is a war coming, and it’s filled with lots of jokes; comedian number one⸺Miyetti Allah. Let’s start with what’s not funny, Miyetti Allah getting pissed. You don’t want a pissed Miyetti on your hands, nahhh. When Miyetti gets pissed, monkeys get socked in blood and we don’t want that either, especially seeing as our monkey’s hate the sight of blood. We must do everything to keep Miyetti Allah happy, even if it means giving out our ancestral lands. After all, Fulanis own all the land in Nigeria; they just leased some out to our forefathers. You didn’t know? Then your ancestors are the ones at fault for not giving you the memo.