Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our Allies

I bet you won’t impeach me if I start a war!

I bet you won’t impeach me if I start a war!

By: Chuks .Chinyere(jj)


You can say all you want about Donald Trump but you can’t say the man does not know how to host blockbuster talk shows — talk about the Real King of Reality TV. It’s true the guy is not so “presidential” like Barack but, come on, dude is more fun to watch and hear speak than Kenny Blaq and Benni Mac put together.

His actions are just vibe after vibe, and the spotlight is his to use as he pleases. No matter how many times the Obamas release song charts in a year, or how many books Hillary Clinton (co-)writes, Trevor Noah and Jimmy Kimmel will never stop talking about mans like Trump, the pop-litician of the decade. Pop-stars got nothing on him.

It’s the funniest thing ever when anyone says, Donald Trump is the dumbest US President in recent times. I can’t begin to imagine why anyone would think of something so untrue. One minute Nancy Pelosi and her squad at the Congress are trying to kick Mr Trump out of the White House, the next minute the United States is conducting airstrikes in Iraqi airspace killing Iran’s top military leader, Qasem Soleimani.

Now let’s see how old people in fine expensive suits will have time to discuss removing the President with Iran and North Korea hailing all kinds of fireworks on them; genius move Trump!

The latest statement from Pelosi was regarding the airstrike that killed Soleimani; there wasn’t one word about the impeachment. She — as expected — condemned President Trump’s decision in ordering such a significant attack without consulting Congress first. I like Madam Nancy a lot, she’s a strong woman with a strong character, and I dare say she’s very pretty too; I wish I were in her age group. The only problem is she seems to be very slow in catching up on updates.

“As POTUS, I can do what I like.”

Did Madam Nancy think Trump was kidding? It’s a hard nut to crack, but it’s high time she and all other Democrats said bye-bye to the “people-centred” and “absolute respect for the Rule of Law” kind of due-process Democracy they were so used to. Trump is here to trump everything.

It’s a shame that the world’s big brother and mascot for democracy, the upholders of fairness and equity, the free world, is now being run on Tyranny Lite. It’s heartbreaking but the people of the United States should take heart, it happens to the best of us. If a country like Nigeria, with all that Crude Oil, still imports PMS, what is the small dictatorship that the United States cannot manage?

Iran has warned that they will retaliate; exactly what Trump wants. Nobody wants to remove a President while there is a raving mad nuclear weapon-wielding megalomaniac on the loose. Kim Jong Un promised the US a holiday present too, another reason to put up with Trump for a few more years, mans did really set up a plot twist in this show and everyone is falling for it.

I’m bored, I’m really looking forward to some international muscle-flexing, all that money spent on building nuclear weapons must not go to waste. I need Iran to lit up the sky, I need sparks to fly, enough of tweeting Mr Trump, press the damn button you have under your table at the Oval Office! Let’s see what you got; I bet you got nothing on our amiable men of the Nigerian Army. 

The only problem is, a war between Iran and the US will happen in Iraq, killing more Iraqis than any other national, and that is just funny to say the least… how this world politics thing works.

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