How to get away with (extrajudicial) murder in Nigeria: A beginner’s guide
How fortunate one must feel to be a Nigerian, to come from a country where absolute freedom is not a myth and impunity reigns supreme. When a great man (we are not sure which one) famously proclaimed that “your liberty to swing your fist ends just where my nose begins,” he certainly had not heard about the wonderful country called Nigeria. He, especially, betrayed his ignorance of that special creature known as the Nigerian Policeman or the Nigerian Soldier for whom the liberty to swing their fists ends wherever the fists end. Full stop.
With all the condolence letters, none was sent to Mr Democracy’s family
When we retrieved the autopsy of Democracy, we found out he was poisoned to death by tyranny. Ah! Tyranny! Tyranny that killed Democracy’s uncle, sisters and in-laws in Cameron, Zimbabwe, Tigo, Uganda and the likes. We have to ask Dr Buhari — the epitome of no-nonsense that he is — how the poison was smuggled into Democracy’s room at the hospital. There’s no way we will not investigate Dr Buhari, he must know one or many things about this issue.
My Lord, tell me where to keep your bribe│Niyi Osundare
My Lord; Please tell me where to keep your bribe. Do I drop it in your venerable chambers; Or carry the heavy booty to your immaculate mansion. Shall I bury it in the capacious water tank; In your well laundered backyard. Or will it breathe better in the septic tank? Since money can deodorize the smelliest crime.
