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Dear misogynists (and the closet ones too)

Dear misogynists (and the closet ones too)

By: Oladini Omotola

It is so unfair that there is an advocacy for the equality of both genders — particularly the female gender — in all areas of life. Why should women who have long been given the highest honour of being in charge of certain important matters pertaining to the kitchen and childbearing suddenly want more from life? How dare they demand the right to be seen and treated as equals? Such an ungrateful lot!

It does not matter that these advocates, who sometimes go by the fancy term ‘feminist’, do not want women to be bound by the ridiculous standards made by the society. Standards naively set by dead people-our ancestors- and upheld by not so naive individuals like me and you. All that matters is that feminists are on a mission to continuously paint men as the villain at all cost. No, they are not really interested in making life better for the female folk. They, the feminists, want women to own properties, choose their path and be whoever they choose to be, participate in public discourse and hold meaningful political positions.

If we let them do as they wish heavens know what they will set out to achieve next, be at the forefront of important world decisions? Now, you might think that the world ought to have paid attention when the then consul of the Roman republic, Marcus Porcius Cato said “If they (women) are victorious now, what will they not attempt?” According to the all-knowing Cato, “As soon as they (women) begin to be your equals, they will have become your superiors.” See why women should not be treated as equals? According to the misogynistic handbook of course.

No, the whole world has got it all wrong, misogynists do not hate women, far from it, why would one hate the being that helped bring you to the world and raised you, the ones that will give you heirs and raise them for you, and the ones that will make a home for you. No, misogynists love women as long as they know their place and accept that the position of leadership solely belongs to men-whether they earn it or not. Misogynists do not hate the women that do not challenge the status quo, women may do that which they please as far as they ask for permission, so long they say “may I, my lord’’ or “can I, my majesty”.

While you are trying to explain to the world that misogynists do not hate women even though your actions and utterances clearly point towards that direction, do not forget to chastise those that say “though we are sometimes unintentional accomplice, let us let to do better by unlearning the attitudes that undermine women.” And if they are male feminists, call them clout chasers, say that they only want the women for themselves. They truly do not care about the welfare of women.

When people are mourning the death of a female that decided to challenge the status quo, one that flourished in a male-dominated world, like the first female Nigerian combat pilot — Titilope Arotile — whose life was cut short by an accident, choose that period to ask the most important and stupid question on the misogynist’s list. Say something along the line of “instead of being at home with a husband, she is flying helicopter, this is what you get by the so-called gender equality advocacy.’’ If you do not say it at the most inappropriate time, how else will the world know that misogynists cannot stand women that dare to be more?

While people are trying to create a safe space for women to thrive, do not forget to make a crude comment about your opponent in a presidential race, say her only asset is her ‘woman card’ like the supreme leader of the Acirema did before becoming the number one citizen of Acirema or behave like the senator of the said giant of Acirfa, slap a woman in a sex shop just because she attempted to prevent the assault of another woman. Do it because you know that society will let you go. No one will apprehend you. Your status and reproductive organ have given you such right to do as you please.

Dear misogynists, take no head when women advocate for gender equality in all spheres of life, say that they are clamouring for superiority at the expense of the male gender. Continuously say that their movement is pushing for the narrative of female superiority and nothing else.  When a man rapes his wife, say that a man cannot rape his wife, her body belongs to him and him alone to do as pleases. Support the girl child marriage but send your male child to school, the female child will end up in the kitchen anyway. But vehemently refuse the services of a male doctor for your wife.  Simply ask for a female doctor.  Ask your female employee to get you coffee in the office while they are working, such constant interruptions will only be to their benefit. Also, do not forget to ask them to volunteer when it comes to serving snacks during meetings or office get together. 

When they climb the ladder of success or progress at work, attribute their success to their sex appeal, how else would they have achieved such feat when they are supposed to be in charge of your coffee during office break hour?  Dear misogynists, do not kick against gender bias, why else should you fight for or be bothered by a movement so alien? When confronted, give the flawed excuse of the weaker and smaller vessel, say that equality should be based on strength and size, and conveniently forget that not all men will be bigger than all women, based on this analogy demand that the smaller sized men be denied access to opportunities on the account of their stature. The world doesn’t discriminate against you why should you care?

From a not-so-ashamed feminist,

Oladini Omotola

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The only thing you need to know about me is I speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth ―― well, except when writing.

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