By: Raheem Hammed Gbolahan


Dear Baba,

Perhaps, it’s late to congratulate you on your victory at the poll, or I’m just waiting for the tribunal to conclude their findings and make their judgment (already known to us all).

Although some people believe you control the judiciary, I stood firmly by you that you have no hand in the removal of the erstwhile CJN, and you also have no hand in the current implant of our new CJN. (The judiciary is independent after all.) Someone even said you both have something in common, and I immediately cautioned him that: termites ate his certificate; nothing ate yours. That said, congratulations on your victory, and I hope this next level is going to be sweeter than the previous level.

Baba, I heard some people are being kidnapped here and there in the north, that they even came to Katsina state, and that bandits are killing people in Zamfara among other neighbouring states. Don’t mind these news people; they are only spreading fake news to distract you from achieving the best for the country in this Next Level.

Some even went as far as claiming it’s your kinsmen who are perpetrating these heinous atrocities. They labelled the Fulani herdsmen as evil; they said they carry guns around while rearing their cattle and they shoot at farmers or villagers that refused to allow their cattle graze. All these allegations are totally false.

And even if they are true, don’t these farmers have animal feelings? Do they want these cattle to die of hunger? Aren’t the guns they carry for self defense? I don’t even understand our people anymore. They just want to hate on innocent tribes, going about their daily routine in the country. Please sir, whenever any southerner kills any cow, declare a two-day holiday for us to mourn. (Injustice to one is injustice to all.)

In addition, don’t mind that Yoruba socio-cultural group telling Fulani herdsmen to vacate the southwest because, allegedly, some armed men perceived to be herdsmen killed the daughter of one of their leaders. The country is safe. Our level of insecurity is zero⸺after all, they haven’t killed any minister’s son or daughter yet. Why then should you act?

Baba, these news people are out to undermine your competence in this Next Level government as usual. Imagine, they said you should release the leader of Shiite group. (They certainly dunno what is going on), you that you didn’t release Dasuki after how many court orders?

Oh! I also read that one Deputy Commissioner of Police and a youth corps member died in the clash between Shiites and the Police. Since you’ve tendered your condolence message on Twitter, and sent a letter to the families of the deceased, that’s fair enough. It’s a welcome development too that the court has named the Shiites a terrorist group. Service chiefs will need more billions of naira to buy arms to deal with them, and more jobless youths will be recruited to fight this newly recruited terrorist group.

The more the terrorist groups, the more the job opportunities for the youth and the more the money for service chiefs. You know what I mean?

Permit me to also advise you to disregard requests from the Iranian government telling you to send El-Zakzaky to their country for medical attention. Like who does that? With the best of medical facilities we have in the country? Who goes abroad for medical attention⸺well, if not you? We that have more than enough medical doctors, and we don’t even mind lending them to the UK or Canada to practice? Don’t mind Iran; their leaders must be jokers. Our medical facilities are superior to those of any nation in the world, and the Shiite leader is receiving the best treatment anyone can get.

Let me join other well-meaning Nigerians to give you thumbs-up for the best set of men you nominated as ministers. I call them MEN OF INTEGRITY. Haters definitely ‘gonna’ hate, but it’s none of your business… as usual. The likes of Godswill Akpabio, Lai Mohammed, Rotimi Amaechi, just name it. Baba! You are the best!

I must also confess that the Senate under the leadership of Ahmed Lawan is doing great too in drilling them with the toughest questions ever. Lawan can never be a stooge. It’s impossible. He just would like to extend the culture of ‘bow and go’ to Amaechi on compassionate grounds. After all, he got there all by himself; you have no hand in it.

On a final note for now, Baba, these South African people killing and harassing Nigerians like we mean nothing to them, what exactly is wrong now? It’s not today they’ve been killing us over there, and it definitely won’t be long before the bloodshed gets to an important son or daughter of the soil. More importantly, I hope they won’t try to harass our cattle in case we have a ranches over there.


Raheem is an Unemployed Graduate of the University of Ibadan School of Politics. At his free time, he engages in the criticism of people both in and out of power.  He paints, teaches, and hopes to be a good diplomat later in life. You can follow him on Twitter @raimi_GH or get in touch with him on Facebook: Raheem Hammed.