By: Moyosore Sheriff Quadri
With the recent persecution of Religious leader and general good guy nudoiB obniyotaF, it is sacrosanct to remind the Nigerian public of their place. After all, Christ was persecuted so we men of God do not have to suffer anymore, touch not the Lord’s anointed regardless of how he touches you, your body is a temple and religious leaders are the keepers of the temple.
This Manual is a factual representation of the state of religion in the Nation.
Any person, body or authority that states otherwise is a child of the Devil for one of the Holy books reiterates “no one is (to) oppress them; he (God) rebukes kings on their account, saying ‘Touch not my anointed ones, do my prophets no harm’”.
* This manual shall apply to every household in the Country and shall remain in operation until repealed by a subsequent Manual.
* The provisions of this manual shall supersede the provisions of any other body of work on religion in the Nation, even the Holy Books as they do not adequately capture the Nigerian perspective.
* It is to apply to only Christians and Muslims.
* The objective of this Manual is to educate the prospective Nigerian Christian and Muslim on the proper practice of their religion.
* It is a timely reminder to the congregation that the leaders of religion across the Nation are infallible.
* The Manual aims to educate the Nigerian worshipper that whenever there is a conflict between the provisions of the Bible/Quran and the Pastor/Imam, the teachings of the latter should take precedence.
* Most importantly, this manual seeks to curtail the dangerous radical thoughts of the Nigerian youth.
* Please note that any and all opposition to the current position of religious practices in the country is the Devil speaking.
This Manual shall be referred to as the ‘Nigerian Religious Manual’
The ‘The Nigerian Guaranteed Opus of Divinity’ GOD for short
* There shall be established a body to be known as ‘The Nigerian Religious Supremacy Council’
* The body shall be comprised of Religious Leaders of the top 5 earning churches in Nigeria.
* The Body shall be given 10% of the Nation’s annual budget
RULE 1: RELIGIOUS LEADERS
1 (1). Religious leaders are the heads of Church and Mosques in their respective divisions.
(2). For the purposes of this Manual, any person(s) so authorised to act as a leader for any particular period of time by persons stated in (1) above shall be considered a Religious Leader.
(3). Any person purporting to be a religious leader under (1) and (2) above shall not be considered as such unless;
1. he/she has a congregation that gives at least N250,000 as offering on any single day designated for worship;
2. he/she has a detailed plan to obtain a private jet within the first 10 years of business, sorry, service;
3. he/she has a controversial past
(4). Notwithstanding anything contained in any of the provisions above, a religious institution shall not be allowed to continue to carry on business for a period exceeding 3 months without at least one MALE religious leader.
RULE 2: RELIGIOUS SUBJECTS
2 (1). Religious subjects are individuals that;
1. actively attend religious institutions on designated worship days
2. pay at least N300 as offering on any designated worship day;
3. dance while the choir conducts its praise and worship session
RULE 3: DUTIES OF OLDER SUBJECTS IN RESPECT OF THEIR WARDS
3 (1). This Section is to apply to older subjects that have children and wish to bring them up in the way of the Nigerian Lord.
(2). Older subjects willing to comply with (1) above shall abide by the following:
1. bring their wards along with them on any designated worship day;
2. emotionally or physically chastise a stubborn and reluctant ward;
3. inflict discipline to the satisfaction of the rage in their hearts in matters regarding attendance of worship
(3). In respect of (2) above, if the ward dies, he/she/it dies, religion is by all means necessary.
RULE 4: DUTIES OF SUBJECTS TO THEIR RELIGIOUS INSTITUTIONS
4 (1). Subjects are to discard personal lessons gathered from reading the various Holy books if said lessons:
1. conflict with any sermon or teaching of their religious leaders;
2. require a higher standard of morality than that advised by their religious leaders;
3. portray their religious leaders to be less than the standard required of persons in their capacity.
RULE 5: DUTIES OF RELIGIOUS LEADERS TO THEIR SUBJECTS
5 (1). Nigerian Religious leaders owe no duty to their subjects and any provisions to the contrary contained in any version of the Holy Books shall be null and void.
RULE 6: DUTIES OF RELIGIOUS LEADERS TO SOCIETY AT LARGE
6 (1). Nigerian Religious leaders owe no duty to the society at large and any provisions to the contrary contained in any version of the Holy Books shall be null and void.
RULE 7: INFALLIBILITY OF RELIGIOUS LEADERS
7 (1). Nigerian Religious leaders are infallible to the extent of their fallibility; they are Gods to themselves and the society at large and shall be accorded the respect shown to Hitler by his Reich.
(2). No legal action shall be brought against them for any perceived infringements or omissions or any act punishable under any law in Nigeria;
1. for as long as they are religious leaders;
2. for any act done or purported to be done by them for the entire duration of their lives after they may have vacated the position of religious leader;
3. and for any act done or purported to be done by them prior to attainment of the position of religious leader;
In furtherance of the enforceability of this Rule, all criminal and civil records on any matter presided over by any court of law in Nigeria or any investigation carried out by any branch of the executive arm of government to which any religious leader was a party must be fed to the rats of Aso Rock as soon as the religious leader attains office.
RULE 8: DUTIES OF THE SUBJECTS TO “TRUST THE PROCESS”
8 (1). Subjects are mandated to trust the process in all instances especially as it relates to harassment, defilement and rape (divine carnal visitations).
(2). Religious leaders are above the law
(3). Female subjects are to submit to the demands of their religious leaders; any demand for consent shall be taken with levity as Mary did no such thing when she was visited by the Holy Spirit.
RULE 9: DUTIES OF THE GOVERNMENT TO RELIGIOUS LEADERS
9 (1). The duty of all the arms of government towards the Nigerian Religious Leaders is as follows:
1. hold them unaccountable to their actions;
2. place them above the Constitution of the land;
3. assassinate any person, body or authority that attempts to enforce any right against a religious leader in any Court of law in Nigeria;
attend services during election campaign trails.
RULE 10: SPECIAL PROVISION FOR COUNSEL OF RELIGIOUS LEADERS
10 (1). The counsel of religious leaders shall be held in higher regard than the Holy Books.
WE ARE NOTHING, RELIGION IS EVERYTHING, WE SHOULD LIVE AND BREATHE AT THE PLEASURE OF OUR RELIGIOUS LEADERS.
The growing distrust of the so called ‘enlightened’ and ‘woke’ Nigerians in the Nigerian Religious setup needs to be curbed. A man of God should not be subject to the same rights as a regular man. The Bible in Hebrews 13:17 states “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you”.
Moyosore Sheriff Quadri graduated with a Law degree from Babcock University in 2018. He is currently enrolled in the Nigerian Law School, Enugu. He is 23 years old, an indigene of Lagos State. His hobbies range from making up hobbies to watching Arsenal break his heart repeatedly.