Family informs Nigerian Embassy that Nigerian is kidnapped. Embassy promises to work with local authorities.
Embassy hasn’t done anything so family comes on Twitter to tweet that Nigerian is missing and embassy isn’t helping.
Abike Dabiri, after 3,000 retweets and finding out that kidnapped Nigerian is Igbo: “There are laws against moving about in that country at night. UCHE should have known better.”
Atiku: I sympathize with the family of Uche and urge authorities to intervene.
JagBros: The Kidnapped UCHE may even be a yahoo boy or drug dealer hiding from police.
Tolu Ogunlessi: (Medium Article) Nigeria cannot be held responsible for its citizens safety abroad.
Dr Joe: I won’t make any comment until I confirm that truly the Nigerian was kidnapped.
Day 14 and 15:
Nigerians: Buhari please intervene and send help.
Buhari: Aired. Dfkm.
Nigeria Police: Nobody was kidnapped.
Twitter Influencer: Here is a go fund me link for Uche’s ransom. Please donate.
Nigeria Police: We have confirmed that someone was kidnapped but we are investigating whether he’s a Nigerian.
Kelvin Odanz: Just got confirmation from a trusted source that the Nigerian Army will not be leading a rescue operation for Uche.
Day 17 (continued):
Nigerian Army Twitter: (Screenshot of Kelvin Odanz tweet with red ink) FAKE NEWS.
Nigerian Army Twitter: We will not be leading a rescue operation for Uche due to diplomatic constraints.
Buhari: I sympathize with Uche’s family. Nigerian Youths should take advantage of N-Power and farming instead of migrating abroad.
Ahmed Lawan: Buhari spoke like a true father of the nation.
Uche is rescued by the host country’s efforts.
Atiku: Congratulations to Uche. We thank God for his safety.
APC handle: Uche’s rescue was sanctioned by Buhari.
Other Twitter influencers: What will happen to the go fund me money now that Uche has been rescued?
Wahala for Nigerian wey dem kidnap abroad.
This satire was originally published as a thread on Twitter.