By: Ekene Ezebuike
Like the spirited efforts of the government to fight corruption, this story is meant to elicit concern but not be taken seriously. If you are looking for a serious piece, look elsewhere. And, please, don’t let the title fool you. There are no animated characters, giant robots, or aliens in the story, only real people with real follies and real solutions — solutions that work even to this very day.
Once upon a happenstance, the people of the valley where the sun rises were beset by all forms of marginalisation, subjugation, intimidation, exploitation and all other —tions that bode despair. They were treated like strangers — nay, pariahs — in their own country. Who would blame them for seeking to break away and forge a new path? There is a limit to what a people can endure.
And like all oppressed people, there arose amongst them a band of warriors who took it upon themselves to free the people from bondage. This band of warriors cleverly employed the most unconventional and bizarre strategies in their pursuit of emancipation. At first, the people applauded them, arguing that an ailment that has never been seen before cannot be cured with everyday herbs. And so, the band of warriors grew very powerful and were admired and feared in equal measure.
But how does one vanquish an enemy that has both the yam and the knife? How does one engage a foe who is better armed and organised? The band of warriors, in their ingenuity and clairvoyance, developed an excellent plan: terrorise and inflict so much pain on your own people that the enemy will tremble and wonder what will be done to him if the very people he oppresses are so afflicted by their own kin. Sadly, this brilliant idea divided the people. While some applauded it, others advised caution, arguing that terrorising the already afflicted dwellers of the valley where the sun rises would be tantamount to going into full self-destruct mode.
The naysayers were swiftly rounded up, labelled enemy collaborators, and exterminated like the rats they were. Having rid the valley of rats, the band of warriors proceeded with their patriotic idea. And so, in order to strike mortal dread into the heart of the enemy, the warriors banned their own kinsmen from gathering, selling, buying, or working on the first market day of each new week.
But the enemy did not recoil or flee in horror. On the contrary, the enemy found new vigour and even better ways of afflicting the people of the valley where the sun rises. Then, the band of warriors proceeded to abduct, kill, and maim their own brothers in order to put the fear of God into the enemy. But again, the enemy remained indifferent and resolute.
The band of warriors had to up the ante. They burnt down their own markets, schools, and hospitals, but when the enemy showed no signs of retreating, they burnt down their own houses and became displaced persons in their own ancestral lands. Freedom comes at a cost, they argued. ‘And like a phoenix,’ they boasted, ‘a new republic will rise from these ruins and ashes.’ The people scratched their heads in doubt but kept their thoughts and opinions to themselves as the band of warriors had become so powerful that they now made naysayers disappear.
The enemies, with satisfaction and pride, observed from the safety of their fortress across the great river as the house they sought to pull down caught fire of its own accord and was reduced to rubble. With no enemy to fight, the band of warriors who have since taken refuge in the dense jungles in the valley now haunt their kin, burning more houses, killing more people, and making more naysayers disappear, all in an effort to emancipate the dwellers of the valley where the sun rises.
Ekene Ezebuike is a keen observer of the kaleidoscope that is Nigeria. His opinion articles have been published on theeagleonline.com, promptnewsonline.com, opinionnigeria.com, etc. He can be reached via mystaheze@gmail.com.
