Punocracy

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Prize for Satire

The police force: One hassle, different officers

The police force: One hassle, different officers

By: Halimah Adisa


ACT ONE, SCENE ONE

The day is bright as the sun whispers, “Good morning.” It is on the 2nd of June. The year is 2020 and life breathes differently. Inside the police station in Miami, on the ground floor, we see officers having coffee to start the day which is filled with a lot of activity. Each officer is assigned to a cubicle that has the latest computer.  There are enough surveillance cameras in getting criminals. The technology is top notch. There is a CCTV camera to know who comes in and out of the station. The notion to protect the lives and properties of their citizens isn’t found nowhere in the world and it shows it means a lot to them.

On the second floor, there are three officers. They are seen talking about the recent rape case that was brought before them. One is Martin, the captain, and the other officers are Marcus and Jim. They are both seated before Martin. The line for the conservation is soon drawn.


CAPTAIN Martin: [drops his coffee] How about the forensic? Have you visited the lab today, Marcus.

Marcus: Oh yeah! Jim and I went there today. It should be ready before midnight.

CAPTAIN Martin: Okay! That’s great. We should work as a team in getting the culprit. Let’s bring justice to the victim.

Jim: What is the President saying on the case? It has gone viral.

CAPTAIN Martin: He had advised every force to be on a lookout, Jim.  He also made it clear that we pledge to protect the lives and properties of the people.

Jim: We are the people too. We should protect and guide.

Martin and Marcus: Yes, exactly, Jim. [Marcus phone rings]

Incoming call: Hello, officer. This is Angela from the Miami hospital. The forensic is ready.

Marcus: Oh! Thank you, Angela. [Drops the call] That’s from the hospital.  The forensic is ready.

Martin and Jim: That’s good. Let’s go get it.

They took their badges and left for the hospital.


ACT TWO, SCENE ONE

Here, the sun gives a look that neglects the abuses of the people living under it. It is in the morning on the 2nd day of June. The year is 2020. The sun is blazing like fire, and as hell is being explained, like how the coal melts the skin, it shows no difference between here and hell. Inside the police station which is painted with the strip of blue, yellow, and green are some officers having Alomo to start their day which is of course filled with a lot of activity. The station is crowded. There are lots of complaints filed and the officers at the counter are taking orders. Beside the counter are some wooden chairs. They must have been there since independence.

The inner room is the I.P.O’s office. With him are two other officers. They are seen talking about the recent rape case. They seem to care so much about the topic. The I.P.O’s name is Rauf while the other officers go by Ali and Bayo. They stand before the I.P.O. They are seen with their Alomo bottles and the line for conversation is soon drawn.

I.P.O. Rauf: [drops his gin] How do we go about this lady’s case?

Ali: Oga, I have no idea o. I no know wetin dey do our women sef.

I.P.O. Rauf: Weytin you mean?

Ali: She says she was raped. Shey she fit deny sey she no enjoy am? [Shaking his head abnormally.]

Bayo: [laughing] That’s true ooo. Abi na she be the first woman wey them go rape?

I.P.O. Rauf: You both are not serious, Walahi. [Laughing hysterically] We sey make she come sign mobility form she no won sign. Mobility form that is not too expensive…

Bayo: But Oga weytin our president talk because the matter don go far ooo.

I.P.O. Rauf: Na agbe our president be. Na that small boy, Tolu dey help am write speech. The one wey I read for Twitter I no even understand am at all. Na everyday people dey tag us for tweet on Twitter. Make we just pretend we dey do our work. Gaskiya!

Ali and Bayo: We dey your back, Oga.

Ali: Weytin we go do now if she come sign that mobility form?

I.P.O. Rauf: Don’t you know your job again? If she signs the form, then we would do our job. And what is our job?  To arrest anybody closer to her and force them to confess. No be weytin we dey do be that? E no hard, my boys.

Ali: Bloody civilians. Make we dey work for them? We no fit stress over any matter. [Laughs then drinks from his Alomo.]

A knock is heard at the door. It is one of the officers from the counter. He has come to serve them orders from the counter. He brings a message that the victim has come to sign the mobility form. And that paves way for the truthfully-false investigations.


Halimah Adisa is a student of English and Education at the university of Ilorin. She is a writer that believes to be shaped as the world evolves. Halimah is an attendee of the 2019 Olakunle Ologunro creative writing workshop.

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The only thing you need to know about me is I speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth ―― well, except when writing.

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