The Next Nigerian Leader: A reality TV show

By: Favour Olajide

The Next Nigerian Leader is a reality TV show coming to your screens very soon. It is an initiative of Johnny Just Come Entertainment, a full-service media house that… that’s all.

Summary

Here’s how the show would run:

After receiving applications from all over the country, a panel of one judge would select the top twenty candidates. These candidates would be ferried to a European island for 12 weeks to learn about leadership and capacity building in the Nigerian context.

Though shut off from the rest of the world, the young and vibrant minds would have those three months to showcase their skills to the world, live on the television. Upon return to Nigeria, they would be ready to take this great nation to the next level.

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them (William Shakespeare).

Are you born great? Then this is for you!

Application Requirements

1. This initiative is for youths only, who are the ones to which the leadership of Nigeria would be entrusted in the future. Therefore, we welcome applications from all youths from the age of 50 upwards.
2. We encourage students of higher institutions to apply. Evidence of being caught in misconduct at least once, which led to a suspension or an expulsion, is an added advantage. Only radical people can foment the kind of change Nigeria needs.
3. Do you have a medical condition that requires you to take frequent vacations to foreign countries such as India, Spain, and Britain for treatment? That is a huge plus and though we make no guarantee that you would win, your application would be treated with a VIP status.
4. Are you the son (or daughter, for inclusion sake) of a popular politician? Then you are most welcome, particularly if your parent is renowned for corrupt practices. Leadership runs in the blood and your genes are gold.
5. Please note that applicants would be required to submit evidence of the financial backing of a political godfather. A godfather is different from a mentor. Think of yourself as a piper; your godfather is the piper-player.
6. Most importantly, we would want to have thinkers in the running for The Next Nigerian Leader. By ‘thinker’, we mean a person that simply thinks. It does not matter whatever you think about. Corgito, ergo sum, says the great philosopher Rene Descartes.

Selection Conditions

1. Due to the regretful popularity of feminism and the pathetic recent worldwide clamorings for inclusion and diversity, we would allot two spaces, of the twenty available, to women. The rest eighteen would be for men.
2. The bold and eloquent have been at the forefront of most political movements, leading to an under-representation of shy people in political leadership positions. At TNNL, we believe that the lives of shy people matter. In fact, as a modern leader, you don’t have to communicate regularly with people you lead. Some aloofness is important to maintain your dignity.
3. You do not have to have produced anything of note, or have contributed anything to the development of Nigeria, your state, your local government, or even your street. Your good intentions are enough; we understand how tough change is.
4. Candidates need not worry about grueling interviews or auditions. Just send in your application and leave the rest to us. Our panel of a judge is more than capable to select young leaders with the most potential.
5. Please note that once the application ends, the only way to enter the program (if you still want to) is by donating a friendly gift (not a bribe; we repeat, not a bribe) of a considerable sum to the office of the Director of The Next Nigerian Leader Initiative.

Feel free to disregard all the requirements and conditions listed above. At the end of the day, it all boils down to how much money you have, really. After all, the Bible itself says “money answereth all things!” Who are we to go against a divine injunction?

To be considered for entry into The Next Nigerian Leader, pick up a form at your respective state government secretariat. The application ends in December but if you know, you know.

Long Live the Federal Republic of Nigeria!

Favour Olajide is a Content Writer. He loves to read literature and write literary pieces in his free time.