By: Akindayo Peace Akinwale
1. Know that you are distinct from the sex with lumps in their chests and disrespect worn in their sharp eyes. You must implant this difference in your sons and sons’ sons. After all, they are created in the image of God. In His image created He them.
2. Subject the woman: since Adam, she wasn’t your equal. She was formless until He, God, pulled her from your ribs. She was not to have any form of liberty or identity. She is not to have any form of liberty or identity; for He gave you authority over everything, and so the woman should kneel at your feet and worship you.
3. Let the woman know her body doesn’t belong to her. Let her know that she was pulled from the ribs of men and so she belongs to any man that wants to claim her.
4. Let the woman know that she is selfish if she feels happy or loved without a man. Only men can exercise this much feeling without a woman.
5. A woman must love a man, a man does not love the woman. Only the woman expresses love to a man because it’s the only way to ascertain her wholeness. As a father, teach your daughter to love a man and stick with him regardless of his extremities.
6. Every woman must respect you because you’re a man. On earth, on God, you don’t need to earn their respect.
7. Don’t say thank you or please when you make requests. Why would you bring yourself in the subject of a woman who isn’t your equal? She is neither human, an individual, or a fellow with blood in her veins. If she recognizes with anything human, it’s the luxury you’ve afforded her.
8. A lady cannot reject or renounce a man. Who amongst the black women has she seen reject a man? So do not worry about being rejected by a woman no matter what you ask of her or do to her. Those who reject men don’t get given away in marriage, and every woman wants to get married.
9. Again, you can claim the body of any woman. You don’t need to ask for it. Her body belongs to all men until she’s claimed by one of the good souls.
10. When you approach her and she says NO, pull her hair to your breast and ask if she knows who you are. Remind her that you’re straight. By this, you’re showing her that only you have human rights and dignity.
11. A woman can be flamboyant once she doesn’t intimidate you. A woman must not intimidate a man; she makes him feel unsafe and in need to compete. It is an insult if you compete with a woman (even) in a capitalist society: a man should always be a step ahead of the woman.
12. When she truly says she loves you, know that she just gave you a clean slate to have other lovers. Don’t ever doubt this.
13. Hurt a woman. Hurt the woman. Hurt as many women as you can find. It’s the only way to let them know their place. It’s one of the ways to love a woman.
14. A woman is nothing but a domestic object. Remind yourself of this every time you think a woman can be intelligent like men.
15. Always remember Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari, and make him your role model for the universal patriarchy that the world must regard for a workable international system. Remember that his wife, the First Lady, Aisha, belongs to his kitchen and the other room and that is all she must claim. That’s all every woman should claim.
16. However, let a woman’s intelligence awe you. What? It’s not abnormal to have an intelligent woman. Her intelligence should awe you the way a man’s intelligence doesn’t. You see, it’s your responsibility to remind and make her apply the intelligence in her marital and domestic responsibilities. Make her creative during sex, especially.
17. You must understand, man, you must understand that it’s a woman’s responsibility to make you happy. She is happy when she makes you happy no matter how she does it.
18. You don’t need to appreciate the woman. It’s a great honour that she has you as a friend, an acquaintance, or a senior colleague (never junior). She’ll deem any request or sexual gesture as a chance to make recompense for all the things and creatures you’ve been with her.
19. Do not wish yourself what you wish for a woman. You’re a different kind of human.
20. Let her know that choosing herself over other things is a radical political act and it is outrageous and preposterous. It is condemned!
21. When a lady is all over the place like a man, like a man – because only a man should be all over the place – clip her wings. You know how to do it.
22. Parents, get your radical daughters married! She has lost her sanity when she advocates for feminism, reduction of gender inequality, and violence. Parents have the responsibility to arrange her marriage; let her devote her energy to domestic responsibilities. Keeping her in the family way is the only way to keep her sane.
23. In all the good you must do, know that only you can also make the woman happy. When she’s alone (which she’ll often be), know that only you can brighten her up. She can’t make herself happy, she is incomplete without you.
24. Do not cry for her. Do not pity the woman like feminists do. Feminists have lost their minds and homes to the devil, you haven’t.
25. Know this, do not exercise empathy or sympathy for whatever injustice or suffering she says she passes through. They are natural events in the becoming of a woman. She is happy with the liberty patriarchy poses on her, she just doesn’t know how to admit it. You should be grateful to your penis for the divine happiness yourself and fellows render.
26. A woman doesn’t have burdens. All her burdens are taken care of by men.
27. Again, the woman has no burden. Milking her many children, allowing her husband sex every night, and doing domestic activities is never a burden. If she makes a complaint, it’s a subtle way to tell you to bring another woman to her home, your home.
28. Let a lady feel powerful and she becomes a problem. You should understand this very well; a lot of pleasure and attention makes them feel powerful and in control and it is not right.
29. This society has a lot to teach a woman. This society filled with men and belonging only to men has a lot to teach the women. It is in your place to do what you can.
30. When you see a man who believes in women’s liberty, know that he’s a threat to masculinity and he must, in the worst case, be criticised. You can call him a pussy-hunter or a servant of the butt.
31. Tell everyone you’ve laid with a woman. It is important! Snap an after-sex picture and archive it. Inform family and friends especially if it’s your first. There is nothing savage, preposterous or awful in that: flaunt your medals of achievement because you’ll need it so much in your life.
32. Eventually, a lady is lucky to marry you. You want to make love and she says she’s sore. It’s the time she needs hard sex. You should pin her neck while making love. You should pin her neck to your pillow and fuck her. If she says she can’t breathe when you’re about to climax, it’s irresponsible of you to stop. She can’t die, women have never died from sex because it’s not a disease.
33. The society knows everything those devil incarnates say about forceful sex. We believe that they’re evil people. You have to invalidate any “victim’s” truth, experience, memories, or whatever they call it. Rape can never happen between a man and a woman. Only sex, sexual intercourse.
Akinwale Peace Akindayo (AKA Philip Peace) writes creative nonfiction, poetry and essays. He connects deeply with “marginalised” communities and he recognises the criticality of changing the narrative of patriarchy. He volunteers with organisations with concern across gender equality, awareness for & recognition of victims of violence and abuse, mental health, literature and history/domestic and foreign political relations. He writes & lives in Ororuwo town, Osun State & Ilorin, Kwara State, Nigeria.
