By: Chuks Chinyere (jj)


Who would have thought there were several types of rape: domestic, street, corrective, and several others. There’s also consented rape. I mean, rape used to be easily defined as “a forced sexual activity that involves penetration”, yes? Apparently, a precise definition of this vile activity is not enough. To fully understand things, we have to segment rape into different classes, one of which is consented rape.

So, what is consented rape? As my SS1 Agric Science teacher loved to say, “it’s self-explanatory, abi”?

Consented rape is the type of rape whose victim gives consent to their rapist to forcefully engage them in penetrative sexual activity. Most times, this consent is given without their (the victims’) knowledge. Other times, the victims are threatened to relinquish control of their body, thus consent.

In the activity of consented rape, the victim might suffer bruises and wounds from struggles with their rapist like in regular rape situations but, not to worry, experts have assured us that consented rape is very much different from other kinds of rape because, notwithstanding the kicking and scratching, the forcing and exploitation, the tears and trauma afterwards, consent was given, that’s all that matters.


“Body no be firewood na”, “Why did you wear that dress?”, “What were you doing in the company of five boys at that time of the day?”, “The way she was rocking me at that party eh, I knew she was asking for it.” Just a few of the things wey Musa don hear for gate this year, him ear never full sha.

How does this consented rape thing work sef? Well, if that your fine neighbour comes to charge her phone in your flat again, wearing that her skin-tight leggings, that black one that shows her pant lines — yes, that exact one that gives you brain bursts and wild thoughts… Okay, maybe she’s not wearing those black near-transparent leggings this time; maybe it’s that her red bum shorts in the company of that big white Real Madrid jersey, with no underwear.

She dares to let her plus-size double D boobs jiggle freely like a pendulum, knowing full well how much you can’t resist boobs. Even if she doesn’t know about your lust for the mammary glands, it doesn’t matter. What matters is she dares come into your apartment looking hotter than Kylie Jenner and Kim K. put together, making your soldier salute her. She dares combine red and white — odindi valentine colours. My friend, the experts said I should tell you that, if you forcefully have penetrative sexual activity with her, there and then, while she’s trying to quickly reply her WhatsApp texts, it’s called consented rape.

The best part is, its not even as bad as the original rape. Why? Because she said “take me daddy” with her body language, and you as Daddy Taker, General Overtaker that you are, had to do the needful.

Body no be firewood bros.

Homeboy, life of the party, y’all were at this bash, yea? Bottoms upping, loud music, dancefloor issa madt thang, everybody was on Cloud Nine, and this shawty was all up on you on the dance floor, she giving you the wickedest whine, she definitely feeling your vibe man. It’s past midnight and she doesn’t seem like she wants to leave the party, some of her friends were leaving but she said she good, she’s still sipping on the weird mixture and blowing smoke with ’em boys. I mean, if it’s not sex she’s looking for, then what else could she be hanging around till after 12 for fam?

So you keep your eye on her, she stands and walks up to the restroom, you follow her, you quickly check your wallet for a condom, you find none, it doesn’t matter, there won’t be time to put one on, you ’bout to take it by force like the Bible said you should, according to your Pastor.

You barge into the ladies; first thing, your hands on her mouth so she doesn’t scream. She’s wearing a short jean skirt, it’s easy to reach for her panties, you pull it down, you pull the skirt up; you so fast, so skilled like you were made for this. She stops struggling when she realises you are in. After a few thrusts, you’re done. You clean up and walk out feeling like Lebron. You don’t have to worry so much; that was not rape, just consented rape.

After all, when the victim came out of the restroom, she didn’t say a word. She didn’t act like she was raped. None of that. She must have liked it. See the way she’s going about her business like nothing happened. She enjoyed o, probably wants more.

Months later, her parents are not saying anything to your parents. Her big brothers are still cool with you. She obviously did not tell anybody. My guess is, she’s cool with some consented rape. She gave you content to rape her by dancing and smiling at you. Don’t let nobody lie to you that she loathes you and is planning on how to stab you for taking away her sanity. She is not going through any deep trauma; the depths of her head are calm like the sea Jesus spoke peace to. She’s Gucci-fine.

Consented rape is such a beautiful thing, don’t you think? Asides the quick less than two minutes pleasure it has in stock for you, it is also evidence of your intuition. It takes a very intuitive mind to know when a victim is saying  “yes” without saying anything or screaming “no”; you got to be smart to know.

Consented rape can take you places, one of which is prison — maybe an early grave too if you find someone generous and crazy enough to help with transportation.

Consented rape is beautiful; it’s so good that it has contributed so much to what the world is today, yes. Some many years ago, legends have it that the Roman Kingdom came to its abrupt end to give birth to the Roman Republic as a result of Sextus Tarquinius’s — last crown prince of the Roman Kingdom — consented rape with Lucretia, wife of Collatinus, commander of the Roman army. Lucretia committed suicide after narrating her ordeal in the hands of Sextus to her husband and her father Spurius Lucretius, who was a Prefect of Rome.

Lucretius asked that her death be avenged. They, with the help of other nobles, overthrew and exiled the royal family who had been ruling very terribly for decades. They then established the Roman Republic whose system of governance and civilisation has contributed immensely to our world today. So you see, consented rape is not such a bad thing after all.