By: Aniebiet Effiong
We’re still in January, you shouldn’t be going round complaining of lack of money when your mates are busy taking advantage of many discontented and vulnerable Nigerians who believe in magic. Say miracle money. The thing is simple.
Create an Instagram account. Use a name that doesn’t exist. Make the brand name look real. Names like;
Raydrid mobile Etc.
The list of useless names is endless.
Furnish the profile/account with downloaded pictures of what you know you don’t sell. Do you think an average Nigerian will make any kind of verification on that? No, they won’t. Not after seeing all the pictures you posted.
Now, make a giveaway post. It’s a new year giveaway your company wants to do. It’s time you turned to the society. Good people. You’re indeed toeing the path of our benevolent government and leaders. You are showing appreciation for their patronage and it’s only God that’ll bless you.
In that giveaway post, tell them to write a business plan of the dream business they’d love to venture into with N250k, and that you’re giving the cash prize to two winners plus consolation prizes of seven iPhones (say iPhone 8) to seven people. Interesting, captivating and mouth-watering.
Wait and see businesses. Pure water business, groundnut business, recharge card business, hair dressing business, palm oil business, boutique and even supermarket business, etc. Forget about their intentions; think about yours.
After this, make a fake transactional details of you sending N250k to two winners. Post it on your wall. Oh, many will praise you. They are well-deserved praises. Some will feel unlucky.
And then send a congratulatory message to all the entrants for winning iPhone 8. Tell them your office is at Zamfara state or Abuja. I’m sure most of them should come from the south or East. If they complain about the distance, tell them they should never worry about that. Introduce to them delivery service and that it costs N2k or N3k only. Drop that account number. Never mind if the account name is carrying an individual’s name. It doesn’t matter. Not with the joy of winning an iPhone 8.
To those of you who have laid mat beside a new year giveaway post of iPhone 8 on social media — Instagram especially, I really commend your faith in the Nigerian God. Trust me he acknowledges your faith too. You know, as we all do, He rebukes every form of suffering for his children (Nigerians). He makes them wealthy through a giveaway post on social media. All you need do is pay a delivery fee of say N2k and boom, your iPhone all the way from the north is at your doorstep. Congratulations!
Asides being Aniebiet Effiong, loving Poetry, Pepsi, Adaugo, Afang soup, and watching Messi, sometimes all I need is a good satire to keep me going. Social media handles: Facebook — Aniebiet Effiong; Twitter — @aniebieteffion8; WhatsApp — 08024032005