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How to be a celebrity | Ololade Ajekigbe

How to be a celebrity | Ololade Ajekigbe

First, it was Davido practically bringing proceedings to a halt at the NYSC Orientation Camp in Lagos, next, The Africa Magic Viewer’s Choice Awards held last Saturday, and so it’s a good time to talk about celebrities and what makes them tick. The life of the rich and famous is as intriguing as it is attractive.

Many crave the lifestyle and attention that famous people attract. The perks and, many times, the frustration of being a popular face–being recognised everywhere you go, living with the reality of bidding goodbye to an anonymous lifestyle, bearing the pressure of often unrealistic fan expectations, and almost always being only one step away from controversy or a scandal.

Nevertheless, celebrities remain the special breed of humans many others would give an arm to be like. It’s not hard to reckon why: They never seem to lack the panache, looks, beautiful clothes, exotic items of vanity, and of course, the privilege that comes with being a known face.

Celebrities seem to own the world, and the rest of us are just living in it.

The good news is that you can live like a celebrity. Yes, you can, as long as you can pull off acting like them.

To be a celebrity, you must embrace the following ways of doing things;

Court controversy: The biggest celebrities all over the world are constantly in the news on account of one controversy or the other. Celebrities are anything but boring, and to come across as one, you must do all you can to remain in the spotlight by courting controversy as often as possible. So, think of Kanye West’s epic mic grabbing moment during the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards or Solange’s 2014 Post-Met Gala elevator fight with Jay-Z, and find inspiration for doing something outlandish to get people talking for a long time. In these parts, consider walking in the footsteps of a Toke Makinwa or Daddy Freeze and you are well on your way to being famous.

Never repeat your clothes: Being a famous face is not a day’s job. It takes careful planning and focus, and one of the ways to show you are serious about this full-time business is to take care of your fashion. Want to be a celebrity? Then, you better not be caught wearing an item of clothing twice. Up your wardrobe game and make a statement with your pieces each time you step out the way celebrities do, and you just might be considered one.

Date a fellow celebrity: Think of the most famous people in the world of music and movies. One thing is common to all of them; at one time or the other, they have dated one of their kind. Quite a number of them have even gone ahead to marry their fellow A-list celebrity. The list is endless– Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, Chris Brown and Rihanna, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, Beyonce and Jay-Z. Over here we have Banky and Adesua, Tuface and Annie, Osas and Gbenro; and really what’s better than one famous person? Two. Twice the star power.

Get divorced: Studies show that the average celebrity marriage lasts 8 years. But that’s even a flattering figure for Hollywood marriages where we have seen marriages last less than 72 hours. Stars like Britney Spears, Eddie Murphy and Kim Kardashian who at different times were married for 56 hours, 2 weeks, and 72 days respectively provide inspiration for the celebrity wannabe who’s looking for role models in that department.

Have your paparazzi moment: What’s a celebrity without the paparazzi? It’s the worst kept secret that the men with the cameras are always looking to catch famous people doing stuff they shouldn’t be doing, or even doing something as mundane as getting a cup of coffee from Starbucks. Sometimes, the paparazzi do not know where to draw the line, and time and again, cameras have been smashed. From Brad Pitt to Britney Spears to Justin Bieber, the running battle between celebrities and the paparazzi is one that’s unlikely to end soon. Want to be a celebrity? Get your own paparazzi moment, it’s a foolproof method of driving your popularity several notches higher.

Say or do something outrageous: By now it should be pretty clear. Your job as an aspiring celebrity is to make the news as often as possible. No one is going to find you interesting or remember you if you are modest or shy away from the cameras. The biggest celebrities have all said something that was out of character at one time or the other. Remember that “uh-oh” moment when actor and former governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger said he thinks a gay marriage should be between a man and a woman? Or that 2005 jumping on the couch moment by Tom Cruise when he was being interviewed by Oprah or even our very own Jim Iyke or Burna Boy getting up to one of their shenanigans. You really should be pulling off something like that. It’s sure to fast track your journey to “celebrityhood”.

Spend lavishly: Expensive vacations, multi-million dollar houses, fast cars and designer apparels. Those are the hallmarks of being a celebrity. Never let it be said that your possessions are cheap or you’re a cheapskate. If you have to be in debt to achieve this, by all means, like Nike, just do it.

Arrive fashionably late always: Celebrities are never the first to arrive for any event, except it involves a higher personality. As a celebrity, always make a grand entrance to any event: this may mean coming in two to four hours after the start time even if you are the host. Your audience will grumble but they will wait, after all, they already paid to see you. When you eventually get there, mumble some half-hearted apology and go on with the business of the day.

A celebrity status can also be enhanced or cemented by coming up with a fashion line, making friends with the political class or showing off charity works to the less privileged. In any case, adopting a couple of the suggestions above will set you on the path to superstardom.

This article originally appeared on the Ololade Ajekigbe’s blog, Lolo’s Thoughts, on September 5, 2018, and is republished with the author’s permission.

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