By: Ogboriefon


I have never been as proud of my country as I am these days. This country just makes my heart puff with pride every bloody time. You know, when religious people say, “actions are judged according to intentions,” I did not know it affected the judicial system too. I have been to a Nigerian court once after all, and I can swear to you that the judge in that high court did not care about the stabbed deceased being your wife’s lover who got his karma after making you raise his five children. No, the judge won’t even budge before slamming you in that hole for life. Even though, you know behind those tough glasses and sour expression, he would have done the same thing. Hypocrites, all of them.

But intentions count too, my brother. Some idiots do not know that because they are stuck in the lower class all their life. Even their crimes are lower class. Why else will they steal an iPhone in a computer store when they can pass small money to the right people and afterwards claim the entire store to themselves? Lower class thinking! Lower class thinking will land you inside the box, my friend, unless you think outside the box.

In Nigeria, your crimes may not matter, if you have the right intention(s). Intentions are useless too if they are only inside you, you need to bring them out. How? Must I teach you every damn thing?

Look, it is a matter of, “go big or go home.”

Why snuff only one life? Go big or go home, drop an home-made bomb in a market then watch the state Governor crawl to you in the middle of the night. Yeah, the same one whose security guards would have knocked your head off your neck if you had stayed too long in his red-carpeted path. “Spare us”, he would say, “spare my tenure. The next tenure after this, you can bomb all you like. Do this, and you can have anything you want.” A stabbed man will put you in a cell, picking dropped soap from the slimy floor all your life but a dirty bomb gets you a date with the Governor.

Go big or go home.

On the subject of bombs, if you can get a patron who knows the right people, you can get your hands on several anti-aircraft missiles. Now, you only need to let the right people know you have that weapon. You know how they say that the greatest weapon is the one you do not have to use? Just let them know you have it. Then sit as they pay you. “You can bring anyone down. It’s a free country for you. We can just tell people it went missing or the brake failed or the windshield was creamy or something. But do not bring the Presidential plane down. No, it is not about explaining how it happened. There are always words, and we have skilled orators with us. If you bring him down, the next one will not be this accommodating.”

Go big or go home.

Why will they do all these when they can just wipe you away in the blink of an eye you ask? Afterall you’ve seen what they do to hardened lawbreakers like unarmed protesters and freedom agitators. Well, I do not know but it must have something to do with your intention. You, my dear, are only a bandit, not a terrorist. Yes, you kidnap people against their wish. Yes, you spread fear among several Nigerians going about their peaceful lives. Yes, you have better weapons than the Nigerian military. Yes, you are a rising threat that keeps on rising while everyone else is busy waiting for Spiderman: No Way Home. But the oga on top said you are only a bandit, not a terrorist. You’ve gone big, so why should you go home?

You know those ones in the wrong geopolitical zone? Those ones fighting against their imprisonment and torture? Those ones are the terrorists. They are daft because they are yet to learn their lesson: Go big or go home.

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