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Do not urinate here ― short play by Pius Adesanmi

Do not urinate here ― short play by Pius Adesanmi

Nigeria’s well-acclaimed King of Satire shared this on his wall on December 18, 2014. Enjoy!


A Naija policeman arrests a man urinating at a place clearly marked “do not urinate here”. Fine: N2000.

Officer: Pay now now abi make we go station?

Offender: OC, I beg now. I be job applicant. I nor get work.

Officer: So because you nor get work, you must doty the environment of the Federal Republic of Nigeria? You dey take your prick piss anyhow for public. Abeg pay your fine. In fact, as you dey here dey argue with me, you’re wasting Federal Government’s time and that’s another offence o.”

Offender: Officer, please now. God will reward you if you help me. I be job applicant.”

Officer: Okay. See im face. Na so dem go dey beg. How much you go fit roger?

Offender: Thank you sir. I go fit afford N500

Officer: Five hundred naira? You think say… anyway, make I mercy you in the spirit of Christmas. Bring am.

Offender: Na only dis one thousand naira note dey my hand officer. Please give me 500 naira change.

Officer: I no get change. Piss again.

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