… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our Allies

Dear newly sworn-in government officials …

Dear newly sworn-in government officials …

By: Busari Azeezat

​Dear newly sworn-in government officials,

Congratulations! You made it to the seat. Do not forget the promises you made to get there. Do not forget to be the example of good governance and democracy just like you painted yourselves to be before you won the race.

You see, we Nigerians are now aware more than ever about our rights. We understand policies enough, we also know that most of your promises are our rights in the first place. But we let you bring them to our tables as promises any way because, truly, we do not think you have anything better to offer.

Distinguished government officials,

Be aware that we are all watching: through our android phones, Facebook and on Twitter. Our tweet warriors are ever ready in their thousands to tweet fire and water. Our data subscription, although renewed through thick and thin, is always on point. Whether or not you heed, we would not hesitate to hold you accountable for everything you do.

Our street and radio raters are ever ready to engage in the debate about who has done better between Lágbájá and Tamedu and if the N-Power N30,000 is enough to drive the development we dream of or to reduce the unemployment rate of our country.

We assure you that market men and women, amidst their karakata would talk. Cast blames as usual as to why the cost of Ankara is high and even hint their buyers that price of petrol might increase soon.

Ah yes! The prayer warriors won’t be left out! They’ll call on God in their places of worship to punish whosoever it is that is punishing them.

Baba Jo! Gbógun ti àwọn tí ó ń gbógun timi! (Please father! Wage war against those warring against me!)

I’m sure you know what that means. In their white sutanas and turbans, and rosaries in the hands, they’ll call on the Almighty to help them to prosper irrespective of how you choose to run your government.

After four years, you’ll be left with our doses of curses and prayers. We’ll forget the roads you built. The two-room block of classrooms you commissioned, the borehole you drilled with a manual pump. But we’ll never forget how the economy went down and how we battled recession. How the megawatts of electricity never increased. How you canvassed our votes by promising us our rights and how you never did more than wear agbada and pass bills about increasing your salaries. And yes! We will not forget how you raise your two fingers and shout democracy o!


Another Nigerian Ranter

Busari Azeezat is a writer and graphic designer. She reads, writes, designs, and rants as the spirit leads.

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