by: Abdulrahman Mustapha
Being a man in this age and time is by no means a simple feat. The respect and prestige that comes with being a modern man is enormous. So how do you become a modern man? This write-up will equip you with the necessary knowledge required to get you to the pinnacle of modern society.
1. Have money (and I mean big money)
Nobody cares how you do it, secure that bag!. Rituals, fraud, scams, theft, blackmail. Nobody cares. God forbid you work a 9-5 for a whole month and get paid in thousands. No, I reject it for you. Hustle o! Or don’t you want to bamba and chill with the big boys? Are you destined for mediocrity? Of course not. Visit that baba today and get your life on track.
2. Look like “Dwanyne The Rock Johnson”
The modern man is accorded respect by the size of his biceps and the width of his chest. Nobody wants a lenge lenge man. You have to be intimidating for that’s what makes you a REAL MAN. Compassion, honesty and kindness my foot! Big is best. So hit the gym now and eat iron. Or better still, take steroids to get quick and fast results. The ends justify the means my brother
3. Always make sure people see you performing philanthropic acts
What sort of clown goes to an orphanage without a camera to record his magnanimity? How else is the world supposed to know that you’re a generous modern man? Make sure anytime you want to donate, you make people know your name and the amount you’re donating.
4. Make sure you have two or more girlfriends
The modern man is a hot cake, he must always be in demand. How will you, as a soft modern man allow one girl to be giving you attitude?. Perish that idea chief, if jumoke doesn’t do normal bolanle steps in. Simple maths!. What’s fun about commitment, chop the life of your head my bro
5. Always wear designer brands (and make sure people notice them)
Whether it’s an owanbe, birthday or even a burial (wetin concern you with dead pesin) make sure you’re wearing the latest designer brands. And make sure and I mean make sure people notice that Hublot watch that goes with the gucci shoe. Who no like better thing?!
And that’s it, five tips to make sure you stand out as a correct modern man. Thank me later.