By: Ibrahim Yusuff
When one of Nigeria’s leading politicians and president wannabes suggested a genius, yet simple, solution to insecurity in the country, the logic seemed to have flown over people’s heads. What should we do? Recruit a quarter of Nigeria’s population into the Armed Forces and then sit back and watch peace return to the land. You don’t see how this makes any sense? Well, here are 10 good reasons Jagaban’s brain deserves to be preserved for having such brilliant ideas and why nothing can best this suggestion in particular:
One, the fear factor: A mere mention of such a huge number constituting just one nation’s military formation will definitely send chills down the spines of many other countries, even those considered to be first world. Forget their heavy sophisticated intel and weapons. This will then let Nigeria pride more over her already sealed giantship in Africa and, eventually, in the world at large.
Two, it is a viable means to ending the insurgency. 50 million is really a huge number that Boko haram no fit pai finish. They will only kill, kill and kill and eventually tire out of killing and finally themselves run away from the land.
Three, it saves unnecessary cost incurrence from buying sophisticated military arsenal. We won’t need to be wasting money on purchasing up-to-date weapons for our soldiers since there will be more than enough human beings to serve as cannon fodder.
Four, as a result of the point above, in some way, the uncontrollably growing population, now turning to explosion, will be checked. And when the population keeps getting checked to an extent, what’s not enough now regarding state resources will subsequently be more than enough because there will drastically be less people to look after such that every unemployed denizen will be placed on a monthly stipend. Nothing could be better.
Consequently, the country will effortlessly produce more and more fallen heroes to celebrate every Armed Forces Remembrance Day.
Six, our youth folk will realise the true meaning and essence of patriotism, the pride and joy in gallantly dying for one’s fatherland.
Seven, it is unequivocally going to be one good way of ending unemployment. Mind you, children of our political office holders won’t drag it with us; they’re fine.
Eight, our politically elected leaders will no longer have to be siphoning and mismanaging funds up to the point affecting the rendition of good governance. That is, there’s going to be enough, even more, to carry out electoral manifestoes and promises to people.
Nine, so, if financial corruption does not affect governance over citizens, we can then boldly say there’s no corruption in the land. Hence, that ugly word will be wiped out.
Ehn ehn, finally, that thing where a family who has a soldier son will be bullying some family that has no soldier son will be eradicated becausee almost every family in the land will have representation in the army. Isn’t that coolest thing? It is, right?