In support of the Hisbah ‘notofication letter’ to Cool FM on Black Friday

By: Aliyu Dahiru Aliyu

Kano State Hisbah Board on November 26, 2020, sent a “notofication letter” to the “manger” of Cool FM to immediately stop promoting Black Friday on its station, which has already became popular for disturbing the physical and the psychological conditions of the good people of Kano State with western and alien music on a 24/7 basis.

We, the Kano intelligentsia, are strongly in support of the content of the notofication letter as we have already understood the Jewish plot to destroy the religious charisma of our great state. Don’t ask me how come e know; when were intellectuals like me ever wrong? We are the defenders of Islam so we know better than you do.

Cool FM has been at the forefront of destroying our culture and promoting drug abuse. There was a time I mistakenly tuned in to the station and listened to them playing a rap song by a white drug addict, American rapper, whose name I have forgotten his name … oh, he is called Wiz Khalifa. I have never seen his face but I believe he is racist and I am right.

Religious activists like me join hands with the haram police in courageously bulldozing the dilapidated buildings of anti-religious radio programs. I personally spearheaded the war against Arewa 24 and I won. I diverted the attentions of people from watching “Dadin Kowa” Hausa drama series to sending their hard-earned money to Sunnah TV.

I am currently preparing to snap at the heels of “Labarina”, a new drama series that’s currently gaining attention in northern Nigeria. I will include all the people watching the series in the list of semi-kafiris destroying Islam from within. This will give me a chance to stop people from being manipulated by the filthy television station.

I know some people brainwashed by the “Boko Aqida” propaganda may not understand me. I know few people like me achieve peak religious wokeness due to our God-given high level IQ. This is why I chose to be teller of truth and the slayer of western propagandists.

Back to the main issue. I strongly support criminalisation of Black Friday sales. I don’t have to Google what the day is about and why there is the annual slashing of the prices. My rare and extraordinary genius combined with teeming social media posts have made me draw a conclusion that it is an attempt to paint our holy day “black” and to divert the attention of Muslims from prayer.

Above all, no serious Islamic country will allow Black Friday sales in its shops. Even Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Iran, Sudan, Turkey, Qatar, UAE, are all going to ban the day because everything black is considered unholy, profane and toxic.

I know you may say the “kiswah” on Ka’aba is black. I know and I don’t care. Black stone (hajarul aswad) is also black and sacred but who cares? Everything black is filthy; that’s why our schools migrated from using blackboards to whiteboards.

The “manger” of Cool FM should respond to the “notification” letter and not only stop promoting Black Friday but should also remove that “.us” at the end of the station’s website. Having “coolfm.us” as your website address while you are in Nigeria is like creating a state within a state. We will not tolerate it.