Punocracy

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From Our Allies

How to be a sane Nigerian

How to be a sane Nigerian

By: John Chizoba Vincent


Anger in the midst of a beloved and lovely country like ours has a long history of bringing about short lifespan to you. You have to be happy for being a Nigerian with a beautiful future and caring Leaders. In a very defining context, Vera Nazarian once said that if you are faced with a mountain, you have several options. You can climb it and cross to the other side. You can go around it. You can dig under it. You can fly over it. You can blow it up. You can ignore it and pretend it’s not there. You can turn around and go back the way you came. Or you can stay on the mountain and make it your home. Nigeria is that wonderful mountain Vera is talking about. You are free to do whatsoever suits you here.

However, you know you’ll be such an educated fool hoping for the government of the federal republic of Nigeria to take back all those wonderful things they have provided for you to make your life beautiful? Imagine them taking away the quality education they gave to you at the university level or secondary and primary levels, how would you manage to be enlightened in life? Imagine if the PHCN removed an hour from the 24/7 power supply they give to you, how would you manage to survive? Imagine if some parts of the roads in Lagos state and other states developed potholes, how would your car manage to be safe? Imagine if this country divides! Just imagine what would become of the other parts without cows for meat. Just imagine! You’re Nigerialised to be better than foreigners. 

Meanwhile, to be a sane Nigerian you must forget about the southern Kaduna killings, forget about the Benue killings, then the Jos killings and the Enugu killings. In fact, those killings were executed by cattle overfed by their masters. Do you want to keep bothering yourself about deaths caused by animals? Besides, the victims have no ties to any of your family, then, why worry about their death?

You must forget about the Chibok girls as well. Remind your heart that it was a story cooked up by the enemies of Nigeria for political purposes. How could such a group of girls be gone till now without being traced? To be a straight Nigerian, you must not ask how the national cake is shared. What is your business with that? Let me tell you, you shouldn’t remember what they meant by police brutality or mismanagement of funds, all these are ways through which our enemies lie. Don’t remember also those people they said were killed by SARS; how could those appointed to go after armed robbers turn around to kill innocent Citizens? Is that not insanity? You must forget because forgetfulness is a name every sane Nigerian living in today’s Nigeria bears.

There was a time of herdsmen rampage in Benue. I think they told you about it. But let me remind you again that those herdsmen were men who brought their kinsmen from Niger republic to be slaughtered in Nigeria, it wasn’t Nigerians killing Nigerians. I was still in Benue then and I still didn’t know what to say about those lies they fed your ears with. How could a Nigerian kill a Nigerian? No! This is not possible. A sane Nigerian doesn’t kill a sane Nigerian. A sane—patriotic Nigerian doesn’t listen to lies; rather they listen to whatsoever their government has to say. To be a sane Nigerian, you must not talk bad of your government or those in power. You must respect them and pray for them even when they are said to loot the public funds; you must keep praying for them and defend them publicly because it is your civic right.

I’ll be 35 in the next few months. I have lived in this country for 35 years. It has been fair and kind to me. I have achieved a lot without stress. I have had the time to nurse hopes, dreamt dreams of its greatness, hoped in the faith of elections to keep this country in unity. I have always seen Nigeria’s light ever since I was a small boy growing up in Aba. I have always seen the government carrying the affairs of this country in their hearts, abandoning their own family’s needs. I am always speechless at the level at which our leaders have worked to make sure this country is safe in all ramification.

There has been the story of Boko Haram told in different ways to pull down their works but they stood to save us. This Country and her Leaders they said like to pick the flowers of dead bodies, so they have hired unknown bandits, snipers, gunmen, Boko Haram fighters, militant herdsmen, and snakes in monkey shadows, to be their gardeners. But, I said to them that this country and its leaders are the best things to have happened to Africa and the world.

I am in Borno now. I am standing in one of those places that were said to be burnt down by Boko Haram but I can’t find any zinc burnt or a place destroyed by bomb. And many times I’ve tried not to live under a climate of lies people have told others about this sweet home but failed. They sit in the dark and ask themselves what if the haramists invade again when there is no Boko Haram. Some asked: what if a bomb goes off somewhere? But have you ever heard the sound of a bomb explosion in Nigeria? I don’t think so. 

Those days, our parents told us a lot of sweet things about Nigeria. We looked for these things while growing up and we found them everywhere, every time we search for them. In fact, this country gets better and greater every passing day. What else do you want from a sane country that feeds students daily before they go to school? What more do you want from a country that pays her youth monthly allowances and then takes care of the elders? Some people are trying to blackmail others into some kind of immoral complicity.

The federal government of Nigeria has tried and you can only help them to do more as a sane Nigerian if you work with them and be of good behavior. Perhaps one day those people seeking for revolution will not see it happen. It seems this is the only way to keep this country in unity. What do we want to restructure again? What? Our leaders are great leaders and this home is not a trap we’re all in. Do not ask what happened to Dino Melaye then, when he spoke up. Do not ask what happened to Sowore or where Dadiyata is. Those are some of the people this country doesn’t want to have as citizens. They are not sane Nigerians. You know? You don’t need to hear whatever they have to say again!

Nigeria is your home. You will definitely come back to it after running away from all these glorious things she has to offer you. It is ironical how many of us run away from a place of milk and honey to what Europe, America and Asia have to offer us. How come we don’t value good things when they come easily to us all? We are first Nigerian before anything else. This is where we belong, our home.


Anonymous! Anonymous! This writer has no identity. He has no side in this cause. When next you seek for this writer, do not seek him in his words. He has no idea how much he hates himself to write to you in such manner. 


John Chizoba Vincents become the names of three people who deliberately see through each other. Sometimes, they are at war with each other and at times, they are the ties that never got broken. They: Them: Us: We represent Boys and their Anatomies, Men and their vulnerabilities, and Humans and their imperfections. Between them are rosy track roads that are rough and tough. They live in a lonely room in Lagos, Nigeria. They have been published widely online magazines and offline magazines. They are the founder of Philm Republic Pictures and Co-founder, Boys Are Not Stones Initiative; an organization that uphold the love for the BoyChild.

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