Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our Allies

‘How many times should I forgive you and your unlawful relationship with tyranny?’

‘How many times should I forgive you and your unlawful relationship with tyranny?’

By: Olamide Francis


On Thursday evening, democracy visited her supposed lover, Nigeria — and that was when Sowore was released from DSS custody. Nigeria thought she would stay for long. She had dinner in Abuja and slept properly.

Suddenly, she began packing her loads on Friday morning — coinciding with when Sowore was rearrested. There was nothing Nigeria didn’t appease her with.

“Omoge joor, je ka ma gbadun ara waa lo. I have money. Gbogbo awon ore mii gaan like e. Duro timi,” Nigeria begged with all his energy, but she didn’t oblige.

Nigeria didn’t know that democracy already knew about his secret relationship with tranny.

Only God knows what he saw in tyranny. She is nowhere as sweet as democracy. The only time tyranny exhibits good deeds is when it’s in her favour, or when she has plenty to gain. Needless to say, tyranny was very selfish, uncouth and mannerless. As a point of fact, Nigeria fell in love with tyranny when he became a manager at his place of work in 2015, shortly after his babe, democracy, recommended him.

Nigeria’s family will not let him marry tyranny. They want him to marry democracy. Knowing this, Nigeria has been disguising as democracy’s fiancé in public but cheats on her in private with tyranny. Now, nothing is hidden to democracy again.

Democracy was furious as she packed her load.

“Forgive me,” Nigeria said.

“How many times am I supposed to forgive you and your unlawful relationship with tyranny? Seven times?!”

“No, my love. Seventy times seven times. Humans are bound to err nah,” Nigeria said.

The instinct of Nigeria further kicked in. You know, it’s impossible to masquerade as what one really isn’t for a long time. Nigeria started pointing out examples of his friends who are happily married to tyranny’s relatives.

“Can’t you see Cameroon and Paul Biya, Uganda and Yoweri Museveni, Dr Congo and Denis Nguesso, Chad and Idriss Deby? Even Namibia, Togo, Djibouti and the likes are married to tyranny’s close relatives. It is only recently that death made Zimbabwe part ways with tyranny’s elder sister.

“It is true you are a source of happiness to me and my family but, I must confess, I can’t do without tyranny. Can both of you share me together?”

Democracy left without uttering another word. Please, help us beg her to return home. Nigeria will not do it again. Every room, including the courtroom and the other room, must be controlled by democracy.

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