Punocracy

… where sa-tyres never go flat

From Our Allies

End SARS campaign and its many dramatic interludes

End SARS campaign and its many dramatic interludes

By: Abayomi Ogundele


His Lordship, Honourable Samuel Tajudeen Pedro, swerved out of the Temple of Justice majestically having delivered a landmark judgement in the case of Blue Birds v Super Eagles (2020) CHARGE NO: ENDSARS/L/HC/56/20. He went out of the courtroom fully robed, neglecting the Rules of Professional Conduct. The incarnate Lady Justicia held in his right hand the cutlass of truth and some files which obviously contained his sound reasoning.

His honour was definitely very humble. His path was the same route the beneficiary of the judgement pointed. His modesty was worth appraising. He jettisoned his official Pedro or Pathfinders jeep and was quite content with his leggediz Benzes. He had this peace of mind other judges did not have. He moved about freely without fear of harm. The execution of his judgement took an immediate course. Immediately after his pronouncement, justice was executed without the aid of the sheriff, bailiff or law enforcement agencies. The proceeds of the judgement were a standing fan, an air conditioner, one LG flat screen television, a printer and some computers. The parties in whose favour the judgement was given came out rejoicing with the dividends of justice. The judgement was a conclusive one – there cannot be transfer of records to the appellate court.

Immediately His Lordship left the temple of justice, the whole building was razed down. The oldest court in Nigeria, our colonial heritage, clothed in ashes. The probate session was also touched; I guess the dead who discovered they made mistakes when sharing their property came back to correct them. Now watch out for the tragedy of justice, if by tomorrow, His Lordship, Honourable Justice Samuel Tajudeen Pedro is finally arraigned before his learned brother who has been subjected to series of denovo, lost several judgements prepared but yet pronounced, and books for research as well as other valuables as a result of his learned brother’s judgement. Hon. Pedro’s ultimate prayer would be that he should not be charged under a section without a limit to sentence. Hon. Pedro might have to prove his innocence without initial conviction.

“DPO, DPO, DPO!” was the chant on the lips of his family members. Godwin Ismaila was collectively saluted by the Police officers and other well-wishers. Growing up, he had wanted to be a policeman with a reformed mind to turn things around. However at age 15, he dropped out of Ogbanje Secondary School, Bariga when he was just in SS1 after he lost his parents in a civil unrest at Alagbon Bariga, Lagos. He was integrated into a new family, a new home when the government failed to absorb him into the social security system. Now posterity has smiled on him.

Yesterday, he was employed by the Nigerian Police Force not as a Sergeant or Corporal but as a Divisional Police Officer. He had not been given his complete outfit but he got a shirt on which the name, ‘Samuel Lawrence’ (I think another Sizwe Banzi will have to die) was inscribed. Ismaila James is now the DPO of Area K. No more Godwin Ismaila but DPO. If you see him and his boys on patrol, don’t make the mistake of reading out his name from his shirt; just respect him. His command of English language should not define him, he is the DPO meant to protect us for now. Unless the Nigerian Police Force change their outfit, we will battle with this nightmare during pure daylight awake.

‘Kini oba’ was also kidnapped; I learnt the Oluawo has invoked the spirit of death to strike Taofeek Ikorodu who was seen running with the staff and the shoes. Fortunately, alongside the kini oba, palliatives were also discovered. The king must have taken hint from Egypt’s history to gather food for the remainder of 2020. This is love misconstrued by his subjects. He must have done that knowing that 2020 is full of surprises. The kini oba was used to cook the palliatives which was served at the Oluawo’s birthday. Yet, we were informed the person who took the kini oba is dead. The staff was so powerful, it did not kill when pilfered till a while after, particularly when a service incantation was conducted via the media to all its subjects.

In fact, we learnt that there was a procession of virgins clothed in pure white parading the ‘latitude 46 to longitude 40’ along the palace axis. The lady who led the walk looks like Aliah Ruth, that tall light in complexion lady who sells paraga at Mushin. All this were in bit to further calcify the return and resurrection of kini oba which is now more powdered than ashes.

There was also a bank discovered in the palace. It was a mini-bank containing dollars. The Oba was not actually the owner, his cousin who builds caskets and was a part-time Bureau de change businessman is the actual owner of the box and its contents. Shortly after the discovery, there was a pool party. This was the biggest dream of Yusuf and Daniel, who all through their life had played in the flood coming from Orile. They swam in the pool and had the time of their lives. Sola was not at the pool but Rasheed sent Bola to call him, it was to be an enjoyable experience.

Adamu also threatened the blue bird and its owner, Jack, that his dog will catch and eat them raw. Well, quite impossible right? You know, the Supreme Court, has power to empower. Even in Jos, there were more hungry people than the total population, after the palliatives hideout was discovered by Alhaji Fash Agent. The good people of Jos were amazing and kind people, they only took the palliatives and left the land. The state of harmony was almost disharmonised, actually the devil should be blamed. After the discovery of their own palliatives ware-house, Lucifer took the complexion of a shopping mall and other companies. He completely seduced the innocent people.

Get the gist, The Nigeria Police Force has just traded its prowess, there shall be more miscreants parading themselves in police uniform, we shall also be exposed to serious armed threat and robbery. Subsequent suspects would not be innocent in the mind of many judex and the traditional stool has now been defiled. Many rich people might have to live in fear, at least for now.

Maybe if Nigerian Police force changes their uniform, maybe if there are house-to-house searches for people who ought to be suspected to have hoarded ammunition taken from the Nigerian Police force arsenal, and maybe if the stool is totally separated from politics. Maybe if there can be transparency in the system, maybe if more youth are allowed to have a say in policy-making, maybe if the National Assembly and Houses of Assembly are placed on civil servant payroll. Maybe we shall be able to undo the dos of the massacre. Maybe. Except for the lives lost.

0 0 votes
Article Rating

Share this post

Wanna leave a reply?

0 Comments
oldest
newest
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x