Changing the Narratives: #ProcrastinatorsLivesMatter

By: Aiyelabegan Robiat Opeyemi

It is quite extraordinary the way we, the last minute people’s minds work. Yes, the tag because of our natural (usually not man-made) disposition to postponing tasks to the last minute and still getting them done quite beautifully (anyways, for every general rule, there is always an exception). I digress. It is utterly amazing the way our minds work and we totally do not deserve the persecution from ordinary people especially “specialists” who have tagged us a special breed of lazy people. This assertion couldn’t be any false, I mean have you met us?!! Hardwork’s got nothing on us!

As a lifelong member of the coven and after several postponements (of course), I have taken the pains and pleasure of compiling the beauty of the ways of the last minute people for the sheer purpose of sensitisation (these folks need to be educated). Nooo, I do not need to be praised. If I do not do it, who will? Others would procrastinate away, any way.

First, the excitement that comes with the pressure of delaying. I remember one time a panel thought I was crazy and was probably sugarcoating too much (usually a little bit of sugarcoating won’t hurt, employers expect it even) when I had told them that I loved working under pressure in response to their question of how to deal with it. Talk about “Ms. Aiyelabegan, should you get pressured a lot during the course of carrying out your duty, how do you intend on dealing with it?” My brother, pressure is not something I run away from, I crave it and by that, you could picture an individual addicted to caffeine. Like, pass me a jug of strong pressure, no sugar or cream please!

The heavy-tight feeling in your chest and trying to keep it cool at the same time? Whoosh, the mere thought of it could make me high. Now tell me o ye judges, what could be a better recipe to excel? I mean we’re born for this success ting!

Also, the spontaneity of our actions, most times, is beautiful. It’s a moment of pride for every member of our tribe when they see truly how good they are. To be brilliant is a thing but to embody a whole lot of amazing ideas which seems to be endless and manifest them is on another wave-length. Like, where does it end??! These beautiful nonstop ideas are from me? Pretty tell o ye wise one, will I be the one to cure cancer? What other superpowers do I possess?

Now to think a whole lot of people think we’re just a bunch of unserious fellows who would rather bear themselves set on fire than to timely lift their fingers? Think again, my dears!

Furthermore, imagine getting a “B” in an assignment you ran shotgun on same as your class’ smartest kid who is known for her extra-studying skills and stellar academic achievements? Ladies and gentlemen, trust me, the feeling is unparalleled. You’ll be like; I knew it! I’m not on the same level with these people! Who knew what would have happened if I had actually studied?!! And that’s the cue your subconscious needs. It begins to go on and on about how spectacular you are and how your brilliancy isn’t deserved by the peasant school you’re in. You’re the best person out there, if you only you wanted to show it! What could be better than affirmations from your inner self?! What??

I still await your very unconvincing answer!

More so, the last minute people are, by nature, very contented humans. By this, I mean the much older and ‘conservative’ and not the Johnny-Just-Comes, who expect “A” results in gigs that they’ve put in” C” games but by their sheer brilliance and get “B” results. My fren, why is your face like that? Noo, come of it. We do not do that here. Here, we accept results and mueve.

Again, I digress. It’s quite interesting how un-ambitious we are. I mean we put in enough work to be good, not extra good but just the right amount. Sometimes ago, in my institution, I had to make a presentation on behalf of my group to the whole class. We had a lecturer from another university present and I had not even perused the content of the paper at all yet I was all cool and calm. As a last-minute queen that I am, I knew I was going to ace it and I did just that. Maybe not amazingly well, but just the right and enough stuff. You know what I mean?

That makes us the perfect set of humans for you to take as your friends. We won’t overshadow you, or steal your shine. We’ll just do our thing the way we know best. You sef think am now.

Brethren, I hope that you’ve learnt your lesson and know better than to treat procrastination like leprosy and the last minute people like irresponsible folks. You know better now, we are humans and we deserve some empathy too. Our mental health matters! Extend kindness to a last minute person today!