Doctor’s Notes – Case #234-NG
Good afternoon. Please, sit down.
You’re here because you said you’re “tired all the time,” “can’t trust anything good,” and your heart skips anytime NLC trends.
Hmmm. Classic symptoms. From your intake form alone, I can already tell you’re suffering from Naija PTSDiosis — an advanced psychological condition caused by prolonged exposure to the Nigerian experience.
I know, I know. You don’t believe me, bah? But tell me — didn’t NEPA bring light for three days straight last week, and instead of relaxing, you assumed they were about to cut wires or punish your compound for being “too happy”? Didn’t you hear about the new minimum wage proposal and immediately say, “Abeg, wetin go spoil now?” Didn’t you see someone celebrating online and instinctively whisper “make we no talk too much o” to your screen?
You see? The illness has entered your bloodstream.
Symptom breakdown
Paranoia triggered by good news.
You hear fuel price is dropping by ₦10 and instead of relaxing, you rush to fill your tank and your two yellow jerrycans — because you know it’s only a matter of time before they “correct the mistake.” It’s not a celebration. It’s preparation.
Mistrust of government generosity.
NELFUND says they’re giving student loans. Your immediate response? “Lies. There’s a catch. They want to use us to do guinea pig.” You didn’t even click the link. You’ve already diagnosed it as a “scam with federal backing.”
Severe allergic reactions to presidential donations.
₦50 billion relief fund for flood victims? You don’t feel relief. You feel insulted. Because the last time you checked, the only thing that flooded was the pocket of someone’s cousin in the ministry.
Irrational calm during national confusion.
Tinubu says something about Iran and Israel and instead of raising an eyebrow, you nod and say, “Eh eh, as it should be.” Not because it makes sense — but because at this point, your brain has stopped questioning madness. You’re just rolling with it like it’s part of life.
Emotional numbness to policy changes.
They mention tax reforms and instead of asking what it means, you instinctively say, “It will not affect me — I’m already poor.” Your coping mechanism is silence and low expectations. This honestly suggests your condition has reached a very advanced stage.
Diagnosis and prescription
Confirmed condition: Naija PTSDiosis, aggravated by prolonged exposure to national headlines, sudden presidential broadcasts, and social media economists. Root cause: Existing in a country where peace feels like a glitch and good news is a setup. Emotional status: Hope-deficient. Joy-intolerant. Rest-resistant.
But don’t worry. This condition is chronic, not terminal.
What you need is softness in small doses. Take one hour every week to enjoy something without thinking of the consequences. Eat that roadside jollof. Buy suya even if the meat is small. Laugh at a meme. Sleep in without guilt. Avoid NTA for at least 48 hours.
Do not — I repeat — do not read any government “relief plan” without drinking cold water first. Surround yourself with people who don’t say “e go better” — but rather “e go soft.” There’s a difference.
And above all, give yourself permission to hope slowly. Hope with caution. Hope with boundaries. But still, hope. Because surviving here is not laziness. It’s resistance. It’s brilliance. It’s grace under pressure.
Flourish Okwuasaba is a communications graduate, storyteller, and civic engagement enthusiast passionate about spotlighting the lived experiences of Nigerians through honest, creative content. She runs the blog Nigeria and the Shege Within, where she explores how everyday Nigerians navigate the consequences of leadership failure.
