The T.A. Report

Nigerians on Twitter share their inspiring (and realistic) cash-saving experiences 

A group of hard-working and smart Nigerians have taken to Twitter to share their 100 per cent true stories of saving money from their little earnings. Hoping others, especially members of the Youth Wing of the Union of Lazy Nigerians, will learn from their experiences, they also disclosed the mind-blowing things they have invested the savings in, including building houses and hospitals.

From Our Allies

How many dollars per barrel is Qasem Soleimani worth? 

I see how the White House, from the Secretary of States to the Defense Secretary, is trying so hard, interview after interview, to justify the assault on Iraq’s sovereignty and the assassination of Soleimani. It’s pitiful how much of a terrible job they are doing. For the first time since Trump became POTUS, this is the most selfless decision he has made, causing such a surge in oil prices, leaving every member of OPEC pleased and richer than the night before, this is an angle the White House should explore in defending the president’s action.

Penkelemesi

The Marlian Empire: A brief history on human history 

The wars ended and Hafiz started a conquest. It would become the only bloodless conquest in the history of the human race. Within thirty years, Hafiz became the Supreme Charismatic Leader (an office created specially for him) controlling the United Nations. On Marlianry 5 2050, he changed the UN to No Battle Ground (NBG) and proceeded to create global peace through disarmament.

From Our Allies

I bet you won’t impeach me if I start a war! 

It’s the funniest thing ever when anyone says, Donald Trump is the dumbest US President in recent times. I can’t begin to imagine why anyone would think of something so untrue. One minute Nancy Pelosi and her squad at the Congress are trying to kick Mr Trump out of the White House, the next minute the United States is conducting airstrikes in Iraqi airspace killing one of Iran’s most senior army officials, Quassim Solammin.

The T.A. Report

Woman-beating senator, Abbo, gives hope to others like him, says award cttee 

“Abbo’s achievements give us hope that a man can still walk into any establishment, beat up people who challenge his God-given authority, and walk away with both his manhood and status intact. They give us hope that even the efficiency of security cameras and the outrage of all of the social media aren’t enough to bring down a daring man, no less a lawmaker with higher standards of behaviour. We are excited that such trifles as a man slapping a woman aren’t a genuine concern for the courts and legislature.”

From Our Allies

There are no youth like my country’s youth 

I trust Nigerian youth. They understand that there is no way the kingdom of God will suffer violence and earth will be left out of the play. Who has the time to compose “take him out of the office” nonsense… when we have an endless number of songs composed by angry and faceless composers. Where is “We no go gree o, we no go gree!” or “Bubu, ole, Sarak ole!”?

From Our Allies

Secrets behind Major General Buhari’s ruthlessness | Tunde Odesola 

I didn’t forget that this incorruptible major-general is for everybody and for nobody. This is why he could proudly identify with his children’s numerous foreign certificates, but not with their tuitions. This is natural; honest major-generals don’t like stains on their starched khakis. They won’t look kindly at you if you blow the kakaki when you see their long, lean hands in the hot pot of soup and the palm oil tell-tale on their bony lips. Abeg, don’t ask me where the money could have come from; manna still falls in the Katsina desert, you unbeliever!

From Our Allies

The harvest is plenty but labourers are few 

Wailers have said this policy isn’t good. What’s not good about it? Nigerians can be selfish sha. There’s love in sharing nah. Wailers want to be enjoying all the improved health care system, motorable roads, economic growth, sound education, and all the benefits of good governance alone. Ahn ahn! Bubu, a man of wisdom and integrity, had to invite other African nations to share in our national prosperity through his immigration policy.