How to recover from a bad break-up as a straight man
Break-ups can be harsh, painful and can make life suck a whole lot. Yet, people don’t talk about how hard it is for heterosexual men to deal with heartbreaks. Here is the talk: Heterosexual men, you don’t have to wallow in misery. Recovery is a shining sun; all you have to do is pull the curtains.
Another presidential aspirant visits Aso Rock
Amidst the gathering political storm towards the 2023 general elections, a presidential aspirant whose name I shall not reveal for fear of elimination has visited the president of this country to receive his blessing and sail ahead in his ambition.
New year, new miracles: How to give testimony in style!
Have you said a new year testimony in your church yet? If no is the answer, then you aren’t doing well at all. You are making it look as though the God of your church is not good enough to be testified of. I therefore implore you to do so as quick as possible as I’ll be writing for you a close to perfect guideline. You should testify.
‘Nigerian senator’ world’s best job, says study … ‘you don’t even have to do jack’
What’s more, he continued, all you need to be elected into office is some tangible business or political capital, a secondary school leaving certificate (genuine or not), and to have been born at least 35 years prior to the time of election (a fact which anyone hardly bothers to confirm).
‘Who am I kidding?’ … Local man postpones new year resolutions to 2023
“Perhaps 2022 is not my year after all,” he admitted to our correspondent, as he sipped a bottle of alcohol with a wry smile. “Initially, I thought maybe I’d start over in February. But it doesn’t have the same kick to it, you know.”
On the subject of x and y (chromosomes)
There are several ways that a man can prove himself useless. He can love Nicki Minaj, think pink is cute, enjoy k-drama, love cooking or (this disgusts me to even mention) be capable of tears. God forbid that you ever get entangled with a man who is capable of tears. The men in the above list are useless but the most useless of them all should be a man with female children. Weak men with weak spermicide who marry women with weak eggs to birth a weak shame. Tueh! I spit on them.
Go big or go home: A tribute to the Nigerian sense of justice
I have never been as proud of my country as I am these days. This country just makes my heart puff with pride every bloody time. You know, when religious people say, “actions are judged according to intentions,” I did not know it affected the judicial system too.
Gov. Obiano, listen to the voice of unreason
I am a 27-year-old businessman with a total net worth the average yahoo boy would blow without flinching, yet I believe I can hit the $1trillion mark before Elon Musk. You can call it wishful thinking but I call it Thinking Big — exactly what Governor Obiano should be doing with his political career.
Dear Doubting Thomas, it is true; no one was killed at Lekki tollgate
It’s been one year and one month since your last public rebuttal of the fabricated reportage of the October 20 2020 shooting at the Lekki toll-gate. And you were right, my dear countryman. No one was killed on that colourful night.
5 ‘scopes’ you fit apply if you wan deny Lekki Massacre
As Lagos State Panel of Inquiry, wey Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu set up, don release report wey dey confirm say Lekki Massacre be real tin, I don quickly code the wahala dis pipu don box inside carton. You be realist and patriot, you no see any dead bodi, so e be your right to deny anytin and everytin.
Behold a new Jerusalem!
It pays to have visionary person as a leader. It really does. Of course that is one of the qualities of leadership. One cannot assume an office with blurry sight, else such will mislead the mass. There are states with blind leaders but such is not the case of Akwa Ibom. We have a leader with foresight.
Say bye-bye to NARD strike forever
NARD strike or threat to strike is frequent as it is certain. ASUU can only dream of matching up. Even though the strike has been suspended, we can bet on these doctors to withhold their services again because they clearly did not inherit the silence of their predecessors. With bills to pay, mouths to feed, and Toyota Corollas to purchase, it seems passion and love for humanity are simply not enough.
How to be a successful SU(G) president
To focus on being a good executive, the first thing you have to do is destroy your manifesto or delete all copies of it. You won’t be needing it. It didn’t help you win the election and it won’t be a yardstick in determining your success.