The Book of Ajanaku

Undecorous Decalogue… The Nigerian politician’s 10 commandments 

14. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour—save where thy neighbour belongs to the opposition camp in which case he deserves not a single shekel of pity and thou may paint him in whatever colour thou pleases. If he is from Airegin, thou may say to give an example that he haileth from the neighbouring town of Nooremac. If he is hale and hearty, thou may spread falsehood that he hath passed on and hath been replaced with a look-alike from the Northern kingdom of Nadus.

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The Book of Ajanaku

The crucifixion of Kolade Jackson: Easter verses as a portrait of police brutality 

‘They witness against thee five sins,’ saith the leader: Of professing loyalty to the Liverpoolians in daylight, of permitting the touch of strange black lines on your fair skin, of daring to speak English as the Queen of England speaketh the tongue, of having friends from across the seas as your little screen divulged, and of oppressing the men of the state with your gold and good looks.

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From Our Allies

Opinion: Is satire in Nigeria worth the try? 

Satirist Elnathan John is similarly cautious about the role of satire in Nigeria. In a tweet, he commented, “Nigerians don’t want any real satire. They’d burn down the station. They want weak impotent comedy they can giggle at.” However, as satire grows in popularity in Nigeria, some disagree. They warn against dismissing this comedic, smart and playful approach to registering dissatisfaction too soon.

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Unseriously Serious

PROGNOSIS: 10 things to look out for 10 years from now given the rise of small parties in Nigeria 

Needless to say, one of the biggest beneficiaries of the boom era of smaller parties will be designers, logo makers especially. Apparently, asides the name, the other most important thing about a party is its logo. The lines. The colours. The choice of emblems and animals. Ah-mean, when it comes to content development, no one really gives one hoot about aim and objectives, mission and vision, ideologies, constitution, and that useless one they call manifesto. Graphic designers should therefore get ready for a career make-over that’ll financially elevate them above university professors and possibly even medical doctors.

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The T.A. Report

We want our own constituency at NASS — internet users tell INEC 

Given the results of various polls conducted on the internet in the buildup to the general elections, many Nigerians had expected Sowore, Moghalu, or Atiku Abubalar to be declared winner. A new study has, however, revealed that social media has not fully penetrated the Northern region, especially the 3 K’s of Kano, Kaduna, and Katsina. The study also found that internet users in the South are 72 percent more likely to spend their day trolling, mailing subs, or watching Game of Thrones, than voting for their preferred candidates.

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