This is what it means to be Nigerian.
In Nigeria, you’re an artist of race.
first you paint yourself as a Yorùbá, then as a Yorùbá Christian.
and Fuhad paints himself different, a Yoruba Muslim,
and Chukwu thinks you all are jokers, because Catholicism is the light,
and Abdul cuts off Fuhad, for not knowing Allah enough.
Undecorous Decalogue… The Nigerian politician’s 10 commandments
14. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour—save where thy neighbour belongs to the opposition camp in which case he deserves not a single shekel of pity and thou may paint him in whatever colour thou pleases. If he is from Airegin, thou may say to give an example that he haileth from the neighbouring town of Nooremac. If he is hale and hearty, thou may spread falsehood that he hath passed on and hath been replaced with a look-alike from the Northern kingdom of Nadus.
Atiku applies to US for Nigerian birth certificate
Alabere Williams, a US-based Nigerian neurosurgeon, explained that the behavioural patterns of Atiku are suggestive of a condition known as paranoid schizophrenia. “The man seems to see the United States as some sort of father or god figure whom he runs to whenever he’s in trouble, and the delusion is getting worse by the day,” he said with a concerned look.
Ngige refers to witch, native doctors…spiritual healers when he said ‘Nigeria has enough doctors’
Nigeria’s Minister of Labour and Employment, Chris Ngige, says his ‘Nigeria has enough doctors’ statement was taken out of context and ‘was not interpreted objectively’. The former Anambra state governor…
The crucifixion of Kolade Jackson: Easter verses as a portrait of police brutality
‘They witness against thee five sins,’ saith the leader: Of professing loyalty to the Liverpoolians in daylight, of permitting the touch of strange black lines on your fair skin, of daring to speak English as the Queen of England speaketh the tongue, of having friends from across the seas as your little screen divulged, and of oppressing the men of the state with your gold and good looks.
Though on steroids, Nigeria’s minimum wage loses badly at world Olympics
Nigeria’s abysmally poor-performing minimum wage has been a subject of controversy for years. Analysts say even the newly administered steroids may not have a nationwide effect, as state governors have already started lamenting their inability to afford the drug.
Opinion: Is satire in Nigeria worth the try?
Satirist Elnathan John is similarly cautious about the role of satire in Nigeria. In a tweet, he commented, “Nigerians don’t want any real satire. They’d burn down the station. They want weak impotent comedy they can giggle at.” However, as satire grows in popularity in Nigeria, some disagree. They warn against dismissing this comedic, smart and playful approach to registering dissatisfaction too soon.
SARS most feared phenomenon in Nigeria after Boko Haram, says UN agency
Meanwhile, the report also disclosed that the third most fearsome phenomenon to Nigerians is visa denial. Equally on the list were herdsmen, traffic congestion, underpants disappearance, queues (especially for elections), food insufficiency at parties, good leadership, and flat mobile phone batteries.
BREAKING: UI to change name to University of Intolerance
Soon, Nigeria’s premier university, University of Ibadan, will seize to be called its name. Plans have been set to change its current name to the University of Intolerance. This move…
Omi tuntun washes off Penkele’s mess in UI, UItes claim
Rain, which many residents of the University of Ibadan have termed “omi tuntun” (sign of new dawn), has yesterday done a great deal of wreck to some amenities of the…
REVIEW: A peep at Elnathan John’s witty takes on Be(com)ing Nigeria
This body of work is well-constructed if it were to be compared to a lego house, it is relevant (not least due to Nigeria’s heated political climate), and it is proof that Satire is by no means a dead art form in these parts.
‘Underage voting is not new, and certainly not wrong!’
In Nigeria, only persons above the age of 18 are eligible to vote in an election. Therefore, anyone below 18 is regarded as underaged and consequently ineligible. However, while explaining…
PROGNOSIS: 10 things to look out for 10 years from now given the rise of small parties in Nigeria
Needless to say, one of the biggest beneficiaries of the boom era of smaller parties will be designers, logo makers especially. Apparently, asides the name, the other most important thing about a party is its logo. The lines. The colours. The choice of emblems and animals. Ah-mean, when it comes to content development, no one really gives one hoot about aim and objectives, mission and vision, ideologies, constitution, and that useless one they call manifesto. Graphic designers should therefore get ready for a career make-over that’ll financially elevate them above university professors and possibly even medical doctors.
Ajimobi is still my father—Penkelemesi
With just few days to the governortorial, I mean, gubernatorial election, the candidate of the All Progressives Congress in Oyo State, Mr Bayo Adelabu popularly known as Penkelemesi, has reaffirmed…
We want our own constituency at NASS — internet users tell INEC
Given the results of various polls conducted on the internet in the buildup to the general elections, many Nigerians had expected Sowore, Moghalu, or Atiku Abubalar to be declared winner. A new study has, however, revealed that social media has not fully penetrated the Northern region, especially the 3 K’s of Kano, Kaduna, and Katsina. The study also found that internet users in the South are 72 percent more likely to spend their day trolling, mailing subs, or watching Game of Thrones, than voting for their preferred candidates.