From Our Allies

May Nigeria never happen to you 

Wait for it: If Nigeria should happen to you, your father would keep visiting the United States of America for the slightest headache, but he will emphasise that irrespective of how ill you are you must not go beyond the United States of Abule-Egba in the search for a cure to your ailment — in order to save some token for national development and increase the rate of underdevelopment in the country.

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The T.A. Report

Nigerians on Twitter share their inspiring (and realistic) cash-saving experiences 

A group of hard-working and smart Nigerians have taken to Twitter to share their 100 per cent true stories of saving money from their little earnings. Hoping others, especially members of the Youth Wing of the Union of Lazy Nigerians, will learn from their experiences, they also disclosed the mind-blowing things they have invested the savings in, including building houses and hospitals.

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From Our Allies

Femi Kuti and Timi Dakolo: Facing mutant truths under muted lights|Oluseyi Olufemi 

Pastor Matthew, the tithe collector from England, came out to recklessly decree that this God-given honour in every girl child and grown woman should be defiled with ecclesiastical impunity by the pastor of KOSA in Abuja, because he was “called, committed, consecrated and covenanted by God” to rape and ruin the lives of Nigerian women.

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From Our Allies

How many dollars per barrel is Qasem Soleimani worth? 

I see how the White House, from the Secretary of States to the Defense Secretary, is trying so hard, interview after interview, to justify the assault on Iraq’s sovereignty and the assassination of Soleimani. It’s pitiful how much of a terrible job they are doing. For the first time since Trump became POTUS, this is the most selfless decision he has made, causing such a surge in oil prices, leaving every member of OPEC pleased and richer than the night before, this is an angle the White House should explore in defending the president’s action.

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Penkelemesi

The Marlian Empire: A brief history on human history 

The wars ended and Hafiz started a conquest. It would become the only bloodless conquest in the history of the human race. Within thirty years, Hafiz became the Supreme Charismatic Leader (an office created specially for him) controlling the United Nations. On Marlianry 5 2050, he changed the UN to No Battle Ground (NBG) and proceeded to create global peace through disarmament.

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From Our Allies

I bet you won’t impeach me if I start a war! 

It’s the funniest thing ever when anyone says, Donald Trump is the dumbest US President in recent times. I can’t begin to imagine why anyone would think of something so untrue. One minute Nancy Pelosi and her squad at the Congress are trying to kick Mr Trump out of the White House, the next minute the United States is conducting airstrikes in Iraqi airspace killing one of Iran’s most senior army officials, Quassim Solammin.

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The T.A. Report

Woman-beating senator, Abbo, gives hope to others like him, says award cttee 

“Abbo’s achievements give us hope that a man can still walk into any establishment, beat up people who challenge his God-given authority, and walk away with both his manhood and status intact. They give us hope that even the efficiency of security cameras and the outrage of all of the social media aren’t enough to bring down a daring man, no less a lawmaker with higher standards of behaviour. We are excited that such trifles as a man slapping a woman aren’t a genuine concern for the courts and legislature.”

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