The Rogue Lawyer

How to kill a business in Nigeria: Advisory opinion for the government 

As a national government acting through your agencies and sector regulators, there’s nothing more delightful to you than watching your lazy citizens hustle hard to build their businesses, make your economy attractive to potential investors and then when their respective sectors start to boom, BOOM! you hit them with sucker-punches in the form of odious regulations and enforcement.

Read more
From Our Allies

The fall of the Nigerian comedy industry 

Professional comedians should start watching their backs. I pray that the extinction of that industry isn’t imminent. A new class of comedians is emerging with great comic capacity more than anything we’ve ever seen. They don’t require anything to launch their profession other than a public office or an opportunity to serve the people. The only due they pay to remain in the industry is required every four years.

Read more
From Our Allies

Nollywood should partner with housemates in the hollowed chamber 

Prior to the time they found a seat in the corridor of power, they understood everything about governance and meeting the needs of people. In fact, they considered the usual fight in the House over who gets what share of the National Cake as demeaning to the entire nation. Therefore, they sold an anti-corruption story to us. We bought it with our sweat. Some did with their blood. But we have not received our change. They said we will receive it. Its fruits will come like a thief in the night. Pending the time, let us enjoy the rice in Kano and the 24h/7 electricity we read about in the news.

Read more
From Our Allies

All you need to face a panel as a senior public servant in Nigeria 

You really need to know that facing a panel can be embarrassing and frustrating. Hence, a holistic preparation is a necessity most especially when you are trying to sweep things under the carpet. This is because reporters and rumour-carriers are on the lookout for your poor presentation which might eventually unveil your ass to the world. Follow me on this short trip as I show you how it’s been done here in this place called Nigeria.

Read more
From Our Allies

Big Brother Naija: A timely palliative for restless Nigerian youth 

Mr President sir, it is because of this that we believe that distracting them will be the best option to douse the tensed atmosphere of the nation. You know Nigerian youth, sir, when you called them lazy, you were right and only being factual sir; they will forget their clamours and agitations as soon as there is something to entertain them. They will forget their pitiable conditions and get so absorbed in the ecstasy of their temporary eldorado.

Read more
From Our Allies

‘Daddy Magu, we are sorry!’ 

First, your groundbreaking discovery on ‘kovid-one-nine’ is, no doubts, compelling and indelibly etched into the sands of time. All thanks to you, we now know that corruption is the cause of the pandemic. You needn’t be adorned with a lab coat, neither did you go through the troubles of conventional scientific research, you solved a global mystery before anyone could say Jack; a feat deserving of a Nobel prize.

Read more